PHILOSOPHY

The Essence of Self-Leadership in My Academic Life

As I stand at the threshold of my academic career at UTM, I find myself contemplating what it truly means to lead oneself in the complex world of higher education. Self-leadership, to me, represents the conscious art of steering my own ship—intentionally influencing my thoughts, emotions, and actions toward meaningful objectives while remaining grounded in my values and purpose. In the academic context, this goes beyond merely fulfilling job requirements; it encompasses developing a clear sense of who I am as an educator-scholar, what unique contributions I can offer, and where I aspire to journey in the coming years.

The self-leadership’s definition resonates deeply, having a developed sense of who you are, what you can do/contribute, where you are going, coupled with effectual communication skills and the ability to recognise/control emotions.” For me, this encapsulates the daily practice of making deliberate choices about how I allocate my time, which research questions I pursue, how I engage with students, and how I navigate the inevitable tensions between competing demands. It means taking ownership of my development rather than waiting for others to shape my career trajectory.

Why does this matter so profoundly? Because academia, unlike many professions, is fundamentally self-directed. No one will tell me exactly what research to pursue, how to craft my teaching philosophy, or which collaborations to cultivate. Without strong self-leadership, I risk drifting aimlessly, reacting to immediate pressures rather than building toward a coherent vision. As Bryant (2016) noted, “Self-leadership is not a destination, it’s a daily process”—a reminder that excellence emerges from consistent, intentional choices rather than occasional bursts of effort. The inspiring examples of Tan Sri Prof. Ainuddin Wahid and Prof. Ungku Abdul Aziz demonstrate that transformative academic leadership begins with leading oneself toward a vision larger than personal achievement, grounded in integrity, vision, and service to nation-building.

My Current Strengths: Building Blocks for Success

Reflecting honestly on my present capabilities, I recognise several strengths that position me favorably for academic growth. My passion for teaching and genuine investment in student success stands as my most significant asset. I derive authentic joy from witnessing students grasp difficult concepts, and this enthusiasm translates into classroom energy that fosters engagement. I actively experiment with pedagogical approaches, welcome student feedback, and willingly invest time in mentoring beyond scheduled hours. This natural inclination toward effective teaching provides a solid foundation upon which to build teaching excellence.

My collaborative mindset and openness to learning represents another crucial strength. As a junior academic, I approach knowledge gaps with humility rather than defensiveness. I actively seek guidance from senior colleagues, participate enthusiastically in faculty development initiatives, and value interdisciplinary conversations. This openness has enabled me to build positive relationships across my faculty and accelerate my learning curve.

Additionally, I possess reasonable organizational capabilities and reliability. I maintain systems for tracking responsibilities, consistently meet deadlines, and deliver on commitments—whether preparing course materials, submitting assessments, or fulfilling administrative duties. While perhaps unglamorous, this dependability builds trust with colleagues and students, establishing me as someone who takes responsibilities seriously.

Furthermore, I bring genuine intellectual curiosity about my field and emerging research interests that genuinely excite me. Though my scholarly voice is still developing, the foundational passion for inquiry exists—that essential spark needed for sustained academic productivity. I find myself naturally drawn to reading recent publications, pondering research questions, and imagining potential contributions to my discipline.

Finally, I demonstrate adaptability and resilience in navigating the unexpected challenges that frequently arise in academic life—whether adjusting to new teaching modalities, responding to student needs, or managing shifting administrative requirements. This flexibility will serve me well in an evolving higher education landscape.

Confronting My Limitations: Honest Self-Assessment

However, authentic self-reflection demands acknowledging significant shortcomings that currently constrain my effectiveness. My most pressing challenge is poor time management and difficulty prioritizing strategically. I often find myself overwhelmed by the competing demands of teaching preparation, research activities, administrative responsibilities, and personal commitments. Rather than allocating time according to strategic priorities, I frequently operate reactively, addressing whatever seems most urgent rather than most important. This pattern leaves me exhausted yet frustrated by limited research progress—the very area critical for long-term career advancement.

Compounding this is my struggle with establishing healthy boundaries between work and personal life. The boundless nature of academic work—there’s always another paper to read, another lecture to refine, another student email to answer—means that without deliberate boundaries, professional responsibilities consume all available time and mental energy. I have not yet mastered sustainable productivity practices, occasionally experiencing burnout cycles that diminish effectiveness across all domains.

Another significant weakness is an underdeveloped research identity and insufficient scholarly networking. While I have research interests, I lack a coherent research program with clear questions, methodologies, and contribution pathways. My publication record remains sparse, and I have not sufficiently engaged with the broader scholarly community through conference presentations, collaborations, or active participation in professional networks. This deficit threatens my career progression and limits my potential impact—I remain largely invisible in my research community.

I also recognise challenges with confident self-presentation and professional visibility. Despite having ideas and insights, I sometimes hesitate to voice them in faculty meetings, propose new initiatives, or position myself as an emerging expert. This reticence stems partly from appropriate junior-academic humility but also from insecurity about my credibility and fear of judgment. I need to develop assertive communication skills without crossing into arrogance.

Additionally, I acknowledge gaps in advanced technological literacy and innovation. While I utilise basic digital tools competently, I have not fully embraced cutting-edge pedagogical technologies, learning analytics, or computational research methods that could distinguish my work and enhance my effectiveness.

Finally, my difficulty in saying “no” to requests leads to overcommitment. Whether serving on committees, helping colleagues, or taking on additional teaching responsibilities, I struggle to decline opportunities even when they distract from core priorities. This people-pleasing tendency must be addressed for strategic career management.

My Ten-Year Vision: The Scholar I Aspire to Become

Looking forward to 2035, I envision myself as an established scholar-educator recognised for impactful research, teaching excellence, and meaningful service—someone who has successfully transitioned from “ordinary academician” to “scholar”. Specifically, I see myself having developed a recognized research niche addressing significant disciplinary problems while contributing to Malaysia’s development priorities, aligned with the nation-focused orientation exemplified by Prof. Ungku Abdul Aziz.

In research, I project having published consistently in quality journals, secured competitive research grants (including national and international funding), and supervised 5-8 postgraduate students to successful completion. I envision leading a small but productive research group, contributing novel insights to my field, and being invited to present at international conferences. My research will be recognised through citations, collaborations, and perhaps early-career research awards.

As an educator, I aspire to be known for teaching excellence—having developed innovative courses integrating current research with practical applications, mentored numerous students to successful careers, and received teaching recognition through awards or exemplary evaluations. Having won the Silver Medal at NALI 2025 was a fire engine, motivating me to contribute significantly to curriculum development, ensuring our programs remain relevant, engaging, and competitive.

I project having built credibility and recognition through multiple channels: quality scholarship that others cite and build upon; a robust professional network spanning institutions and countries, enabling collaborative research and knowledge exchange; and active service to professional societies, editorial boards, or policy advisory groups where my expertise contributes meaningfully to broader conversations. At the international level, I hope to have established research collaborations, participated in visiting fellowships or sabbaticals, and contributed to global conversations in my field.

Critically, I envision achieving this while maintaining healthy work-life integration—where professional accomplishment does not sacrifice personal wellbeing, family relationships, or life meaning beyond work. I aim to model sustainable academic productivity for my students and junior colleagues.

Applying the Four Pillars: My Self-Leadership Framework

To bridge the gap between my current reality and ten-year vision, I will systematically apply the Four Pillars of Self-Leadership as my guiding framework.

Pillar 1: Knowing Who You Are requires deep self-examination of my values, beliefs, and goals. I believe fundamentally in education’s power to transform lives and contribute to national development. I value integrity, excellence, and service above personal recognition. My goal is becoming an excellent scholar-educator whose work creates meaningful impact. To strengthen this pillar, I will engage in quarterly reflective practice, journaling about my values alignment, career satisfaction, and evolving sense of purpose. I will also seek mentorship from senior academics whose career trajectories resonate with my aspirations, learning from their wisdom and mistakes.

Pillar 2: Knowing What You Do focuses on understanding my behaviours and motivations. Currently, my behaviour patterns reveal reactive tendencies, overcommitment, and insufficient strategic focus. My motivations blend genuine passion for education with unhealthy needs for approval and fear of disappointing others. To address this, I will implement structured self-monitoring through weekly reviews examining how I actually spent my time versus how I intended to spend it, identifying misalignments between stated priorities and actual behaviours. I will work with a mentor or coach to understand the psychological drivers behind my people-pleasing tendencies and develop healthier behavioural patterns.

Pillar 3: Knowing What You Need to Learn requires an honest assessment of knowledge and skill gaps. Based on my weakness analysis, I need to develop: advanced research methodologies, grant writing skills, scholarly writing productivity, technology-enhanced teaching practices, professional networking strategies, boundary-setting and assertiveness, and strategic time management. I will create a structured three-year learning plan addressing these gaps through formal training (workshops, courses), informal learning (reading, observation), and deliberate practice. For example, Year 1 will focus on grant writing and teaching innovation; Year 2 on research methodology and writing productivity; Year 3 on leadership and strategic networking.

Pillar 4: Apply What You Know emphasises translating knowledge into successful habits and supportive environments. I will build specific habits supporting my development: protected weekly research time (treating it like non-negotiable teaching commitments), structured writing sessions, regular networking activities (attending one conference quarterly, reaching out to two new contacts monthly), scheduled reflection time for learning consolidation, and wellness routines ensuring physical and mental health. I will also create environmental supports: finding a dedicated research space, joining or forming a writing accountability group, establishing technology systems that minimise distractions, and surrounding myself with colleagues who model the behaviours I wish to develop.

Embracing the Journey with Intention

As I embark on this academic journey, I recognise that the path from junior lecturer to established scholar is neither linear nor guaranteed. The distance can be huge, and the path may not be obvious. However, what distinguishes those who successfully make this transition from those who don’t is not innate brilliance but intentional self-leadership—the daily practice of aligning actions with values, persistently addressing weaknesses while leveraging strengths, and maintaining focus on long-term vision despite immediate pressures and setbacks. These responsibilities rest with me, and I commit to leading myself with clarity of purpose, honest self-awareness, and persistent effort toward becoming the scholar-educator I aspire to be.

The journey will inevitably contain challenges—failed grant applications, rejected manuscripts, difficult semesters, moments of self-doubt. What matters is not perfection but intentionality and resilience. This wisdom, “The most important person to lead is yourself—then be your best!” captures the essence of self-leadership: I must first learn to lead myself effectively before I can lead others or make meaningful contributions to my field.

As I move forward, I commit to this daily practice of self-leadership, recognising that small, consistent choices compound into transformative outcomes over time. I will measure success not only through external markers like publications and promotions but through internal indicators: alignment with values, sustained passion for the work, positive impact on students and colleagues, and healthy integration of professional and personal life domains.

This is my story’s beginning, not its conclusion. The journey toward scholarly excellence starts with the courage to lead oneself authentically, strategically, and compassionately. I embrace this journey with both humility and determination, ready to become the scholar-educator UTM, Malaysia, and ultimately the world needs me to be.