THURSDAY’S TOP STORIES
What just happened?
Jesus Christ. Jesus. Bloody. Christ. I mean… f***! Where do you even start?
How about with Luis Enrique, putting the victory into valedictory, jumping like a schoolboy after the final whistle, all the angst and pain of the last few months forgotten, sweated away into the night air? “If they scored four, we can score six,” the Asturian had said before the match.
How about with Edinson Cavani, who surely, surely, thought that his emphatic strike had settled the tie in Paris Saint-Germain’s favour, despite all the defensive lapses in the first half and the complete absence of the rhythm they achieved in the first leg?
Paris Saint-Germain’s Uruguayan forward Edinson Cavani (L) celebrates with teammates after scoring their first goal during the UEFA Champions League round of 16 second leg football match FC Barcelona vs Paris Saint-Germain FC at the Camp Nou stadium in BaAFP
How about with Angel Di Maria, portentously telling the home fans to be quiet after Cavani’s goal? Or Unai Emery, stalking up and down the touchline like a man waiting for his degree result, finally slumping to the floor after finding out he has failed?
How about with Michael Owen, so excited by the winning goal that he did a lap of the presenting table on BT Sport?
No, we must surely start with Neymar, so often the callow prince of the MSN triumvirate but elevated here to king of kings, dragging his side over the line. When other heads were dropping at 3-1, his did not. A startlingly good free-kick jumpstarted the comeback, before he kept his cool from 12 yards after Luis Suarez’s tumble.
Then, deep into added time, when so many players would have simply lumped the ball into the box, he had the nerve to dribble past his man and caress a stunning ball into the path of Sergi Roberto. The rest, as they say…
Three goals in 436 seconds. What a finale. What a recovery. And on the flipside, what a choke for the ages.
Debates will rage in the days ahead. Was this the greatest comeback ever? Just what is PSG’s issue in Europe? Are Barcelona ‘back’, whatever that means? Should other managers starting handing in their P45s in search of an Enrique-style results bounce?
For now, though, let’s all just bask in the afterglow of one of the great sporting fireworks displays in living memory. It was amazing and you – even if just from your sofa – were watching.
Somewhere Auba the rainbow
It was a touch less dramatic than Barcelona’s effort, but Borussia Dortmund also came from behind to book a spot in the Champions League quarter-finals, putting Benfica to the sword at the Westfalenstadion.
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang was the hero for Thomas Tuchel’s side, scoring three times and erasing memories of the first leg, when he was about as deadly as an Andrex puppy. With Marco Reus to come back and nothing major to play for in the Bundesliga, they’ll be dangerous opponents for someone in the next round.
Borussia Dortmund’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang celebrates scoring their third goal with team matesReuters
Meanwhile, in Manchester…
Nope.
RETRO CORNER
OK, this isn’t actually that old. But it’s a visual continuation of the Neymar love-in above, so you’ll get over it.
Yep, that’s the boy wonder, plus Robinho and Paulo Henrique Ganso, dancing to Beyoncé to promote Brazilian meat brand Seara. Probably worth bookmarking for when you need to make the endtimes more bearable.
HEROES AND ZEROES
Heroes: Cruzeiro
To mark International Women’s day, the Brazilian giants used squad numbers to highlight some of the challenges faced by women in Brazil and around the world. So, against Murici-AL, the Foxes had jerseys reading “A rape every 11 minutes”, “Salaries 30% lower” and so on.
Plenty of clubs go through the motions when it comes to supporting good causes, so credit where it’s due: this was a great idea.
Zeroes: Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Tyrone Mings
The pair have been banned for three and five matches respectively for their impromptu joint MMA tryout at the weekend, which seems about right.
Bournemouth weren’t happy, though. “It is our strongly held belief – backed up by our relationship with the player, and knowledge of his background and character – that it was an accidental collision,” read a club statement. Remember: nice guys never do anything bad.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic, right, and Tyrone Mings, left, clashed at Old TraffordPA Sport
HAT TIP
“If the spending seemed indiscriminate, there was a method to the madness, and it was inspired – believe it or not – by The Lion King. Executives had studied the way Disney managed to create not just a box-office smash, but a long-term entertainment brand that generated merchandising and spin-off revenues long after the film had left the cinemas.“
Hindsight being 20:20, yesterday perhaps wasn’t the ideal day to publish a piece on the endemic issues at Barcelona. But Jonathan Liew’s take on how the Blaugrana went from being ‘Més que un club’ to just another money-chasing superbrand is definitely worth your time.
COMING UP
Remember bouncy balls? Those little rubber fiends that intermittently (when it wasn’t marble or Pog season) took over the school playground? Well good, because that’s what FC Rostov vs Manchester United (6pm) is going to be like.
The Russian side’s pitch, you see, is harder than… well, whatever the hardest rock is. Granite, let’s say. The United players didn’t look especially impressed with it on Wednesday afternoon, so it will be interesting to see what they make of it when they actually have to play football.
There are also seven other Europa League games, the best of which is Lyon vs Roma. Fans of confused commentators will probably want to keep an eye on Gent vs Genk, too.
Yes, Tom Adams has PTSD after Arsenal’s defeat on Tuesday. No, it’s not going to stop him whipping up a great Warm-Up on Friday morning.
