Self-Leadership and My Academic Calling
When I think about the path that has brought me to Universiti Teknologi Malaysia as a junior lecturer, the first word that comes
to mind is self-leadership. To me, self-leadership is the quiet but steady force that keeps me aligned with my values, focused on my purpose, and determined to contribute meaningfully in the ever-demanding world of academia. It is not simply about getting tasks done or meeting expectations, but about setting my own direction, reflecting on who I am as a scholar, and regulating myself in ways that allow me to grow, even when challenges come unexpectedly.
Self-leadership matters deeply in academia because lecturers are not just transmitters of knowledge, but role models who shape the intellectual, ethical, and professional formation of students. Without strong self-leadership, it is easy to lose one’s sense of purpose amidst teaching responsibilities, research demands, administrative duties, and community expectations. For me, it is the cornerstone upon which I build both my career and my sense of contribution to society.
My journey began with a strong foundation in Islamic studies, particularly in Shariah and Islamic finance. Over the years, I have discovered that teaching is never about depositing information into students’ minds. Rather, it is about cultivating a spirit of inquiry, where students feel empowered to ask questions, challenge assumptions, and connect timeless principles of Islam with the pressing realities of the modern world. In my classes, whether on Islamic finance, usul al-fiqh, or maqasid shariah, I aim to make learning a dialogue. The gratitude and trust students express remind me that teaching is both a profession and a calling.
Research has also shaped my identity. My doctoral work on Islamic swap instruments opened a path for me to contribute to contemporary debates in Islamic finance, particularly on derivatives, tawarruq, and the ethical challenges of speculation. I see research as a bridge: one foot grounded in classical Islamic jurisprudence, and the other stepping into modern economic realities. This dual orientation—to heritage and to innovation—continues to inspire me.
This spirit of collaboration is reflected in my professional appointments. Recently, I was entrusted with a significant responsibility as a member of the Shariah Committee at Citibank Malaysia and Citibank Labuan. This role is not only an honor but also a profound learning experience. It strengthens my ties with the financial industry and gives me the chance to apply academic knowledge to real-world challenges. By engaging with practitioners, I gain valuable insights into Islamic banking operations, which in turn enrich my teaching and research. It reassures me that the gap between theory and practice can be bridged, and that academics have much to contribute to industry.
Challenges Along the Way
The journey, however, has not been without struggles. One of the greatest challenges I face is balancing the many hats I wear: lecturer, researcher, committee member, consultant, mentor, and family man. Each role demands time and energy, and at times I feel stretched thin. There are days when administrative duties pile up and research projects sit untouched, leaving me torn between immediate tasks and long-term goals.
Time management is another hurdle. I sometimes underestimate how long tasks will take or overcommit myself out of eagerness to contribute. This often leaves me working late into the night, chasing deadlines instead of working with calm clarity. I have learned that saying “yes” to everything does not make me more effective; it sometimes drains my energy and focus.
I also recognize that my scholarly voice is still developing. While I have published in international journals and contributed to book chapters, I continue to ask myself how I can write in a way that positions me as a distinctive and credible voice in the global conversation on Islamic finance. Finding that voice requires persistence, authenticity, and courage.
Lastly, the competitive nature of academia can be daunting. Surrounded by more established scholars, I sometimes feel overshadowed. Yet I see this as a motivator to push harder, refine my ideas, and embrace resilience as part of the journey.
Looking Forward: My Vision for the Next Ten Years
When I look ahead, I see myself not just as a lecturer but as a scholar-leader whose work influences both academia and society. In the next decade, I want to establish credibility through a strong portfolio of high-impact publications and books that provide new insights into Islamic finance and social ethics. I aspire to be recognized as a reference point in areas such as Islamic derivatives, waqf innovation, and maqasid-based financial solutions.
My long-term vision is to contribute to the development of Islamic social finance as a transformative force for sustainable development. I hope to lead interdisciplinary research on how zakat, waqf, and sadaqa can address issues such as poverty alleviation, climate change, and financial inclusion. Locally, I want to mentor students with both knowledge and integrity. Regionally, I see myself collaborating with ASEAN partners to strengthen Islamic finance ecosystems. Internationally, I hope to engage with institutions like the Islamic Development Bank, ensuring my scholarship translates into real-world impact.
Applying Self-Leadership for Growth
To realize this vision, self-leadership must remain central. Setting clear goals will provide the roadmap—whether in publications, research milestones, or teaching innovations. Regular self-reflection will allow me to remain aligned with my values and recalibrate when I drift. Self-regulation will teach me discipline, ensuring I prioritize wisely and manage my time with clarity. And self-motivation, rooted in my belief that knowledge is an amanah (trust) and service to society, will sustain me through moments of fatigue and doubt.
Becoming a Purposeful Scholar
In reflecting upon my journey as a junior lecturer at UTM, I see self-leadership as both the foundation and the horizon of my career. It has guided how I teach, research, and collaborate, and it will continue to shape the scholar I aspire to be. My strengths in teaching, research, and collaboration give me confidence, while my struggles in balance and time management remind me of the need for humility and growth.
My appointment to the Shariah Committee at Citibank strengthens my collaboration with industry and deepens my conviction that academics must remain engaged with real-world challenges. As I look to the future, I carry with me the belief that self-leadership is not a solitary pursuit but a way of life. It urges me to sustain my strengths, address my weaknesses, and never lose sight of academia’s higher calling: to serve knowledge, guide students, and leave behind a legacy that benefits both society and the ummah.
