{"id":322,"date":"2018-04-06T03:21:57","date_gmt":"2018-04-06T03:21:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/?p=322"},"modified":"2018-04-03T03:28:04","modified_gmt":"2018-04-03T03:28:04","slug":"building-self-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/2018\/04\/06\/building-self-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"Building Self-Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"sub\">Preparing Yourself for Success!<\/h2>\n<p>Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.<\/p>\n<div class=\"vidright\"><em>Learn how to become more self-confident, with this video.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that&#8217;s being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic.<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.<\/p>\n<p>Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.<\/p>\n<p>The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you\u2019re working on your own confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it\u2019s well worth the effort!<\/p>\n<h2>How Confident Do You Seem to Others?<\/h2>\n<p>Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself\u00a0and people around you?<\/p>\n<table class=\"quiztable alt no-horiz\" style=\"height: 291px;background-color: #f2f3f7\" width=\"857\">\n<thead>\n<tr>\n<th style=\"width: 453px\"><strong>Confident Behavior<\/strong><\/th>\n<th style=\"width: 388px\"><strong>Behavior Associated With low Self-Confidence<\/strong><\/th>\n<\/tr>\n<\/thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 453px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 388px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Governing your behavior based on what other people think.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 453px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 388px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, and so avoid taking risks.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 453px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 388px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 453px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 388px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Extolling your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td style=\"width: 453px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Accepting compliments graciously. \u201cThanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I\u2019m pleased you recognize my efforts.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<td style=\"width: 388px\">\n<ul>\n<li>Dismissing compliments offhandedly. \u201cOh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p>As you can see from these examples, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Confident people are generally more positive \u2013 they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the full.<\/p>\n<h2>What Is Self-Confidence?<\/h2>\n<p>Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.<\/p>\n<p>We gain a sense of\u00a0<strong>self-efficacy<\/strong>\u00a0when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we&#8217;ll succeed; and it&#8217;s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks.<\/p>\n<div class=\"responsive-ad-container\">\n<div class=\"responsive-promo\">\n<div class=\"responsive-ad-cta\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"responsive-ad-img critical-load\"><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"newsl-block-module\" class=\"newsletter strip\">\n<div id=\"bootstrap\">This overlaps with the idea of\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTCS_80.htm\">self-esteem<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what&#8217;s going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we&#8217;re competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/affirmations.htm\">affirmations<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0and\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTCS_06.htm\">positive thinking<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>. At Mind Tools, we believe that there&#8217;s some truth in this, but that it&#8217;s just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals \u2013 thereby\u00a0<strong>building<\/strong>\u00a0<strong>competence<\/strong>. Without this underlying competence, you don&#8217;t have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.<\/p>\n<h2>Building Self-Confidence<\/h2>\n<p>So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?<\/p>\n<p>The bad news is that there\u2019s no quick fix,or five-minute solution.<\/p>\n<p>The good news is that becoming more confident is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what\u2019s even better is that the things you\u2019ll do to build your self-confidence will also build success \u2013 after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!<\/p>\n<p>So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we\u2019ll use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.<\/p>\n<p>In preparing for your journey, do these five things:<\/p>\n<h3>Look at What You&#8217;ve Already Achieved<\/h3>\n<p>Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you&#8217;ve achieved in an &#8220;Achievement Log.&#8221; Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else\u2019s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.<\/p>\n<p>Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you\u2019ve already had!<\/p>\n<h3>Think About Your Strengths<\/h3>\n<p>Next, use a technique like\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTMC_05_1.htm\">SWOT Analysis<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.<\/p>\n<p>Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!<\/p>\n<h3>Think About What&#8217;s Important to You, and Where You Want to Go<\/h3>\n<p>Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.<\/p>\n<p>Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our article on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/page6.html\">goal setting<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0to find out how to use this important technique, or use our\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/store\/product.php?productid=16143&amp;cat=250&amp;page=1\">Life Plan Workbook<\/a>\u00a0to think through your own goals in detail (see the &#8220;Tip&#8221; below).<\/p>\n<p>Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.<\/p>\n<p>And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. Make sure it\u2019s a very small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!<\/p>\n<h3>Start Managing Your Mind<\/h3>\n<p>At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence. See our article on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTCS_06.htm\">rational positive thinking<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0to find out how to do this.<\/p>\n<p>Further useful reading includes our article on\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTCS_04.htm\">imagery<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0\u2013 this teaches you how to use and create strong mental images of what you&#8217;ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals \u2013 there\u2019s something about doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!<\/p>\n<h3>And Then Commit Yourself to Success!<\/h3>\n<p>The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.<\/p>\n<p>If as you\u2019re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that\u2019s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the risks you face, read our\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTMC_07.htm\">Risk Analysis and Management<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0article.<\/p>\n<p>Either way, make that promise!<\/p>\n<div class=\"grey_block\">\n<blockquote>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 10pt\">Tip:<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt\">Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt\">If you are under-confident, you\u2019ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you\u2019re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you\u2019re so optimistic that you don\u2019t try hard enough to truly succeed.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt\">Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt\">So how self confident are you? Take our\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTCS_84.htm\">short quiz<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0to find out how self-confident you are already, and start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<h2><strong>Step 2: Setting Out<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>This is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By doing the right things, and starting with small, easy wins, you\u2019ll put yourself on the path to success \u2013 and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.<\/p>\n<h3>Build the Knowledge You Need to Succeed<\/h3>\n<p>Looking at your goals, identify the skills you\u2019ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well. Don\u2019t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution \u2013 look for a solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you a certificate or qualification you can be proud of.<\/p>\n<h3>Focus on the Basics<\/h3>\n<p>When you\u2019re starting, don\u2019t try to do anything clever or elaborate. And don\u2019t reach for perfection \u2013 just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.<\/p>\n<h3>Set Small Goals, and Achieve Them<\/h3>\n<p>Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Don\u2019t make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start piling up the successes!<\/p>\n<h3>Keep Managing Your Mind<\/h3>\n<p>Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. You can also use a technique like\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newCT_94.htm\">Treasure Mapping<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0to make your visualizations even stronger!<\/p>\n<p>And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you\u2019re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to see them in a positive light. After all, there\u2019s a lot to be said for the saying \u201cif it doesn\u2019t kill you, it makes you stronger!\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>By this stage, you\u2019ll feel your self-confidence building. You\u2019ll have completed some of the courses you started in step 2, and you\u2019ll have plenty of success to celebrate!<\/p>\n<p>This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger, and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills you\u2019ve proven into new, but closely related arenas.<\/p>\n<div class=\"grey_block\">\n<blockquote>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">Tip 1:<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">Keep yourself grounded \u2013 this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don\u2019t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<h4><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">Tip 2:<\/span><\/h4>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">If you haven&#8217;t already looked at it, use our\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/pages\/article\/newTCS_84.htm\">How Self Confident Are You?<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>\u00a0quiz to find out how self-confident you are, and to identify specific strategies for building self-confidence.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you&#8217;ll find your self-confidence building apace. What&#8217;s more, you&#8217;ll have earned your self-confidence \u2013 because you\u2019ll have put in the hard graft necessary to be successful!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12pt\">Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence. If you haven&#8217;t already read and applied our goal setting article, you can read it\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mindtools.com\/page6.html\">here<\/a><button class=\"plp_button add_to_plp add_or_remove_from_plp critical-load\" title=\"Add to My Personal Learning Plan\">\u00a0<i class=\"fa icon-plus-circled\"><\/i><\/button>.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div class=\"grey_block\">\n<h2>Key Points<\/h2>\n<p>Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, and people who lack it can find it difficult to become successful.<\/p>\n<p>Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem. You can develop it with these three steps:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Prepare for your journey.<\/li>\n<li>Set out on your journey.<\/li>\n<li>Accelerate towards success.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>Goal setting is probably the most important activity that you can learn in order to improve your self-confidence.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Preparing Yourself for Success! Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. Learn how to become more self-confident, with this video. After all, most people are [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6541,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[22,19],"class_list":["post-322","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-howto","tag-confidence","tag-motivation"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6541"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=322"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/322\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/people.utm.my\/nurazaliah\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}