4. Be a coach, not a dictator. As a manager you need to spend more time listening and less time talking. When your employee is stuck and looking for a solution, don’t just jump in with the answer. Help them determine the right outcome and coach them. Ask questions that guide. If you can do this two things will happen. First, they will be far more vested in the solution because they will feel like they truly had a hand in its development. Second, you are teaching them important skills they can use the next time a similar problem arises.

3. Be honest — when you don’t know, you don’t know. The worst thing you can do is lie or set inaccurate expectations. You may not have answers to all of their questions – and that is OK. If you don’t know, you don’t know. Acknowledge their request and make a commitment to finding the right answer and follow up with accurate information in your next check-in.

2. Make it a safe place to share concerns. Employees should feel like their one-on-one are a safe place to speak freely. Whether they want to know more about direction of the business or their own personal performance, they should never be afraid to ask a question or share concerns. In my role as a leader at Porch.com, oftentimes I ask my people, “What keeps you up at night”? Sometimes just talking makes a positive impact towards better engagement.

1. Respect the time. The most important part of the one-on-one is actually having it. During the week it gets easy to prioritize other meetings so you can address fire drills and other impromptu needs. Things come up and you sacrifice the check-ins because “there is always next week.” Don’t fall into this trap. Keep the time as an unmovable, and do your best to always show up on time.

Stay in the trenches It’s likely that you were asked to be a manager, because you were great at doing whatever your discipline demanded. You worked hard and achieved a certain level of success as a result. Now that you are a manager it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do the “dirty work” that helped you succeed in the first place. It is an endearing quality that your direct reports will respect when you are willing to do any job at any time to help them move forward.

How do you do this? Keep an eye on things day to day and when there is an opportunity to jump in and help, grab the opportunity and run with it. At the end of the day the success of the business is what matters and a culture where anyone — including you — is willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish things is a culture that will thrive and endure.

YOU are the example Through the good times and bad, who are people going to look to when they need inspiration or an example for how to act? The answer is simple: you. You are now the example that others need to follow. The values you demonstrate, the way you handle adversity and ambiguity and the way you persevere through the biggest challenges, is now considered the measuring stick for how others will act and behave. How do you do this? You are going to need to be very mindful of your emotions and how others will act and behave.

How do you do this? You are going to need to be very mindful of your emotions and how you react in certain situations. You are going to need to slow down, be patient and develop an informed perspective, so you can lead in a way that people will admire and model.

Understand the importance of delegation You are going to find early on that you want to be involved in everything your team is working on. The challenge here is that you cannot be everywhere at once. You need to create an environment where you are actively relying on others to help carry projects. You will still be informed, but you need to let others lead so they can grow their abilities and perspective. Over the years whether it was my time at Microsoft or Porch, some of the best managers I have seen are the ones who have mastered the art of effective delegation.

How do you do this? When you need someone to step up and lead on your behalf, be clear on your expectations but also stress to them how important the opportunity is for them personally. When they know how important their role is they will feel even greater ownership towards ensuring an optimal outcome and their contributions will feel even more valuable.

Find a mentor One of the first steps you should take is to find a mentor that you can go to when you have questions or need support. Find someone who has excelled at being the type of manager you want to be; ideally someone who has experience handling a diverse set of situations, so you can understand first hand the pros and cons for handling certain situations certain ways.

How do you do this? Look across your company or outside your company (perhaps someone you worked with in a previous job) and approach them and see if they would be willing to help out.

Be consistent If you constantly flip-flop on decisions or how you make decisions, your team will start to lose trust in your ability to strategically lead. They will question if you are making informed judgments, leading with emotion or worse – you are unprepared to handle your new responsibility.

How do you do this? To be a consistent leader you need to be a patient leader. Take your time. Don’t respond to emails with irrational feedback. Don’t make a decision in the moment just because people are pushing you to do so. Find outlets that allow you to think through things. Go for a walk. Write up emails and step away before you send them. This can be very hard for people at every level but sometimes the best thing you can do is just slow.

Know that relationships have changed Often first-time managers find themselves managing people that were once their peers or people they have created a personal relationship with. When you become their manager the relationship changes, and you need to be transparent about that. You are now their boss and you will need to wear that hat when you are in the office. You can never allow yourself to have personal relationships cloud business decisions.

How do you do this? You need to set clear ground rules and have the conversation upfront that things have changed. I have found that the best way to do this is to add additional 1:1s to address in real time any situations that may feel awkward. You need to be transparent (as do others) and if things feel weird, talk about it so you can collaborate on a solution.