You’re in the middle of a heated negotiation with your colleague. You want to come across as confident, but inside you feel timid. During these difficult situations, there are actually two conversations happening at the same time. One is obvious: It’s the conversation you’re having with someone else. The other is the conversation you’re having within yourself about how willing and able you are to stretch outside your comfort zone. To negotiate successfully, you need to question your position in both conversations. When you’re negotiating with someone else, look beyond your stated position to find commonalities. And when you’re negotiating with yourself, your “position” might be that you’re unwilling to be more assertive. Dig a little deeper and ask yourself why. Is it an emotional challenge? Are you afraid of being assertive? Or is it a skill-based challenge? Getting to the bottom of why you’re unwilling to step outside your comfort zone is the first step in becoming a better negotiator. Adapted from “The Two Conversations You’re Having When You Negotiate,” by Andy Molinsky

There it is in your inbox: an invite to a meeting you really don’t want to attend. Maybe it’s shoehorned into one of the few remaining open spaces in your calendar. Or maybe it’s for a time that’s already booked, and now you’re left to decide whom to turn down. How do you decline an invite without burning bridges? Ask yourself: Can I recommend someone else? Invest some effort in finding the right person to attend the meeting so you don’t appear to be shirking the responsibility. Can I contribute in advance? Take a few minutes to pull together some notes and brief the chair or a suitable participant ahead of time. Can I attend for part of the meeting? If one or more agenda items don’t apply to you, ask if you can attend only the parts of the meeting that do. Adapted from “Polite Ways to Decline a Meeting Invitation,” by Liane Davey

Data can provide enlightening information to a company’s leaders, guiding their decisions. But measurements can be misleading, which will push you in the wrong direction. Identifying whether your data can be trusted isn’t as difficult as you may think. Start by clarifying what you want to know. If you are timing a multistep process, for example, do you want to know how long each individual step is or how long the entire process is? Both have valid uses but are quite different. Then see how closely the measurements align with what you really want to know. Strive to distinguish “pretty close” from “a good-enough indicator” from “not what I had in mind.” You may have to settle for a less-than-perfect measurement, but at least you’ll know exactly what it is you are settling on. And be sure to try the “smell test.” When results just don’t seem right, dig deeper. Adapted from “4 Steps for Thinking Critically About Data Measurements,” by Thomas C. Redman

A bad first impression can be hard to shake. But changing how others view you is not impossible. Here are four ways to overturn entrenched beliefs: Surprise people. For example, if you’ve developed a reputation for never speaking up, make a point of being the first person to speak in meetings, and make multiple comments. Overcompensate over time. Bombard people with a lot of evidence to suggest that their first impression was wrong — do it not just once, but consistently. Get closer to people. If you’ve started out on the wrong foot with someone, don’t avoid them. Find ways to get to know them better so they can see who you really are. Wait it out. Sometimes the bad impression your colleague formed has nothing to do with you. If you’re patient and continue to act in ways you’re proud of, most people will come around eventually. Adapted from “4 Ways to Overcome a Bad First Impression,” by Dorie Clark

When you’re angry or disappointed with a colleague, it can be tempting to dash off a text or email to say so. But an angry message sent in haste can ruin a relationship. Before communicating, ask yourself: What outcome do I want? Think about your end goal and respond in a way that will achieve it. What should I communicate? If, for example, you want to be in the loop on a project, saying “I’m concerned that you didn’t include me in that meeting” is clearly a better choice than “I can’t believe you didn’t include me!” How should I communicate? If you listen to other people, they’ll most likely return the favor. Be curious and ask questions. Ask other people whether you’ve understood their perspective. When should I communicate? Wait until you can approach the conversation with curiosity, compassion, and clarity, and until the other person is likely to be generous and calm. Adapted from “Outsmart Your Next Angry Outburst,” by Peter Bregman

The term “middleman” usually conjures up a negative image — someone who creates costs and slows things down. The truth is almost the opposite: Middlemen usually can make things happen more efficiently than those who specialize in other job functions. Middle managers can learn from middlemen in three ways: Look for gaps between the silos. People who can bridge the “structural holes” in organizations, who understand the needs and resources of different teams, can bridge cultural divides. Keep both sides honest. The middleman’s power comes from a unique vantage point that can keep one or both sides accountable for delivering on the end product. Be a single point of contact for your team. Middlemen can help with information overload, filtering out the noise and delivering crucial data. Adapted from “What Middle Managers Can Learn from Agents, Brokers, and Other Middlemen,” by Marina Krakovsky

If you want to continue working in some capacity after you retire, you’ll have to do some planning. Start by asking yourself four questions: How much money do I need to earn? If a certain income is mandatory, this criterion needs to come first and will influence your other decisions. How much location independence do I want? If you have visions of balancing some work with a lot of travel, or if you’d like to spend winters in sunny climes, think carefully about how to cultivate a location-independent second act, such as a seasonal or internet-enabled job. How much change am I seeking? If you’d simply like to downshift in your current career, ask your manager about transitioning into a consultant role. A bolder change will require additional groundwork. How can I start test-driving my future career now? Experiment with some small side projects while you have the security of your regular income. Adapted from “Planning Your Post-Retirement Career,” by Dorie Clark