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10 Change Is Possible, Not Easy

Commercials on TV tell you all the time that you can change yourself.
In thirty seconds, the commercial actors can get smarter,
thinner, prettier, richer. But this fantasy world only sets us up for a
fall.
We hear about the possibilities for wonderful changes people
can make in their lives, and we want to duplicate those results.
When we try and are not quickly rewarded, we actually wind up
feeling worse than we did before we started.
The problem is, of course, that change is possible, but it does
not come immediately. Nobody wants to sell us on a program for
change that will take years because of course no one would buy
it. But it does take years to accomplish the most important
changes.
When you entered the first grade, you didn’t expect to learn a
second language, algebra, and the history of the War of 1812 all in
the first week. You began an education that took more than a
decade and provided you with incredible positive change.
Positive change in your life will not be finished today, but it can
start today.

9 Don’t Keep Fighting Your First Battle

People absorb a tremendous amount of information and learn significant lessons from their earliest experiences. We begin our careers as almost empty notebooks, and as we progress our mind fills with notations and observations. The first pages of our mental notebook are filled with our first experiences. The potential for difficulty arises, however, as we try to apply those early lessons to situations in which they are not relevant.
Take note of experience, but realize there are situations where your experiences no longer apply.

 

Research on financial managers finds that 95 percent display a particular commitment to sectors in which they
experienced their first success. Ultimately, this tendency leads to missed buying opportunities in other segments of the market and unrealistic enthusiasm for their chosen sector.

8 It’s Never Just One Thing

When we think of attaining success, we often think of achieving a specific goal. Whether it’s landing a new account, getting a promotion, or being offered a certain salary, we think that with just one more achievement we will feel successful. But people do not change their assessments of themselves following an achievement. People react to the larger picture. When you land the account or get the promotion or a raise, the same nagging concerns that led you to think you desperately needed one more achievement will undermine the value you place on that achievement. Ultimate success neither comes with nor rides on your next achievement. Feelings of success come with the whole of your efforts, your beliefs, your experiences, your life. Success is based on the total package, not the ribbon on the package.

 

An event may be crucial in the short term, but researchers find that people’s enduring self-concept—their view of who they are and what they are capable of—is not tied to any single positive or negative event. Instead, a self-concept is composed of a combination of beliefs and feelings based on long-term experiences both at home and at work.
Black 1999

100 Simple Secrets (100SS)

I shall share what are the 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It

credit to David Niven, Ph.D.

The 100 Simple Secrets of Successful People presents the conclusions of scientists who have studied success in all walks of life.  Each entry presents the core scientific finding, a real-world example of the principle, and the basic advice you should follow to increase your chances of success in your life.

5 You Can’t Force Yourself to Like Broccoli

Certain jobs require a distinct personality. There is little point in pursuing a job in communications if you are not an extroverted person who loves to interact with people. If your soul bursts with passionate creativity, you are not likely to be content with a job in accounting. Personalities are like shoe sizes. They are not subject to our choice or preference, but they can be occasionally fudged—with uncomfortable consequences. It is neither an accomplishment nor a fault to acknowledge that some people can speak before large audiences and be exhilarated by the experience while others would be petrified. Some people can study an equation for years and be fascinated by it, and others would long for human interaction and variety. Realize who you are—what your true personality is—and choose a future that fits it.

 

Even as people experience different phases of their lives, including career and family changes, their underlying personality remains constant after about age sixteen.
Barto 1998

4 Take Small Victories

  • Pursuing your goals is much like putting together a jigsaw puzzle.
  • While you ultimately seek the final outcome, you still have to work piece by piece.
  • Since you will spend most of your time trying to make progress, you must enjoy what you are doing in order to finish.
  • Take joy from the process, and use the small successes to fuel
    your continued efforts.

Life satisfaction is 22 percent more likely for those with a steady stream of minor accomplishments than those who express interest only in major accomplishments.
Orlick 1998