It was my masters degree convocation day. He gave out our diploma/scroll. The year was 2004. It has been 15 years since I met him in person. Even though I never had any chance to know him better but I know he is a good guy. His name was commemorated in IIUM Gombak Campus mosque (Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah mosque). I heard about the news of his passing on the radio, on my way back home from UTM.
May Allah Bless his soul.
Which is which? To be a generalist and well-rounded person with versatile and adaptable skills or to be an expert in one specific thing and is really good at it? It is a conundrum, isn’t it?
But even though it is highly applauded to be versatile and adept at many things yet there are cases and instances when being an expert is better than being a versatile individual. In what case? Especially, in a case of dealing with human life. For example, an expert in engineering cannot claim he/she is an expert in psychological disorders. To know the differences between one psychological disorder are not easy because there might be similar symptoms of one psychological disorder with another. For example, layman might use to the term “depression”. Depression is a symptom of various mood disorders. Meaning a person who is depressed could be diagnosed as a person with depressive disorders or bipolar disorders or obsessive compulsive disorders (just a few examples). So, in each different mood disorders, there are many symptoms that might be similar to another psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders.
When a friend approached me to be her supervisor, I asked her about her research interest. When she told me that she wants to do something related to management disaster (which has nothing to do with school or education in specific), I told her that she better searches potential supervisors from School of Human Resource Development and Psychology, not School of Education even though both schools are under the same faculty, Faculty of Social Sciences and Humanities. She sounded worried because she is hoping that I could be her supervisor. I told her, as much I wish that I could have her as my supervisee, but I firmly asserted that I am not an expert in management research or human resources. A simple google of Journal of Management Studies would point out school/faculty of human resources and management or industrial and organisational psychology (I/O psychology). I would never think that I would do any research and later on publish in such journal. Never in my dream. Even though education is still considered as humanities or some considered it as social science, yet it is different from I/O psychology.
In addition, earlier on when she asked me if I can help with the analysis of her project, I was thinking that she has the data already. When I asked further, apparently she is planning to collect the data and thinking about the instrument/tool to collect the data. Well, data analysis is still a long way to go because there is no data yet at this point. Man, this thing could take years to complete. Indeed. It is not easy but it is worth the trouble.
While writing this post, I received a message from her (she was in a meeting with the Dean of Faculty of Science, Prof Dr Abdul Rahim about management disaster). Around 12pm, the meeting ended and I sent her back. I asked what were the things they discussed if it is not confidential. Well, because it is confidential, she only said that they were discussing about technical stuff on disaster management. Some of the things discussed are over her head. Jokingly I replied “It would be disastrous if I am your supervisor because I am not an expert in disaster management. Instead of helping you to understand how people management disaster, you will become the disaster yourself“. LOL 😀
We have known each other more than 20 years. As our life start to unfold into different spectrum and colors, we keep in touch once in a blue moon while respecting each other space. Little that I know our meeting would be a little bit different this time around. She called to say that she was in JB. To be specific, she was staying at Pulai Spring. I was in a middle of a meeting. I told her to give me another half an hour. She called me again as I was about to leave the meeting. I rushed to my room to pick up my purse and as it was inside my Ikea red foldable shopping bag, I just grabbed it. I met her who was waiting in front of Canseleri Building. Above all places that she can park her black Mercedes, she chose that special place!
She sounded chirpy than usual. Or is it my imagination that when we met few years ago she sounded more serious? I greet her with a hug. Did we hug last time when we met? I just could not help from thinking that she was a bit different this time around.
It was lunch time and I asked if she had her lunch. She told me that she had her lunch at the hotel where she was staying. She told me that she just want to have a chat with me. To catch up with an old friend. Yup. We met at IIUM Matriculation centre in 1996. We had many classes together since we both majored in psychology.
We decided to have light munchies and hot drinks at McD. After we took our seat while waiting for our order, she had a quick look at me. I was wearing a black jubah and shawl with flowery design. Of course, she noticed my Ikea red plastic bag. “Dij, you are still you. You can afford to buy more expensive bag than that! But, hey we are the same! We don’t care about the brand as long as it is practical“. She laughed after saying this. Looking at myself, I laughed at own self too. “I don’t have that typical image of a lecturer, huh?” I asked her. She said “No. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad that you are still like this. You don’t change much, don’t you?” I just laughed. I have changed a lot, but there are some parts of me that still the same. I told her that at this age, there are so many things have changed. I told her that I start to have grey hair and I also have nearsightedness. I am old. Age is catching up. Both of us laughed again. We have a good time to tease each other this time around. I feel somehow our friendship has matured to different level.
We asked each other about the latest development in our life and suddenly she told me this “Dij, I am on medical leave because I have depression.” I was shocked. I was in the similar situation and I know it is not easy without intervention and professional help. I asked her “Do you have to take any medication?” She told me that a psychiatrist gives her some medication to take. I didn’t know how to react. She is a dear friend. I know her family and siblings. I have met her mom and dad. Her mom still remembers me. Gosh, it is not easy to share this news. Looking at how quiet I was, she assured me that she is ok. She is in a better situation than before. Then, she laughed. “Dij, I am really ok. I am glad that you still want to meet me even though I know that you are busy. You know, there are some of our friends who don’t want to meet me when I ask them out to hang out”. She updated me about her family and both of her parents are retired. Alhamdulillah, both of them are well.
Then she suggested that we should take a picture. “I want to meet Dee on my way back to KL tonight and I want to show her our picture“, she told me. “Tonight? When are you planning to meet her?” I asked her. “Around 7 or 8pm?” she replied. Dee is our friend. A Mary Kay advocate. She converts most of our friends to become MK users. She is a business-minded type.
“Did Dee approach you to use MK product?” I asked. “You?” she asked me back. We looked at each other and laughed. That’s the answer! We don’t have to say anything to know the answer. Old friends can read each other’s mind quite well. Indeed.
The lunch time was almost finished and she wanted to meet another friend before she went back to KL. We had to say Goodbye now. She sent me back to UTM at 2pm just in time for me to go for another meeting. I told her that I didn’t have the opportunity yet to show her my office and faculty. She told me “I guess we have to think about another meeting. Perhaps you will show me around more“. In sha Allah.
DD, thanks for your time! I never thought that McD hot choc is quite delicious.
