Category: Random rambling

COVID-19: Dear former student

An FB post that you posted on 21 September 2021 caught my attention. I could not stop thinking about your well-being. Being a mother of two young children is not easy while working at home to teach due to the pandemic. I know you are strong, but there are times when you might falter. It is just a phase. A tough phase to deal with by a tough lady like you. It is ok to be sad, frustrated and hopeless with certain things but do not let it drag too long.

Take one thing at a time. It is so common to hear people say that. But it is true. Sometimes, we need to break things down into manageable chunks that we can deal with. There is no need to rush on doing things.

I am so proud of you. With what you have done and accomplished so far, I believe and always pray that you will go far in your life as an educator. There were times when I was your teacher, but now, you teach me more than I can teach you. I learn from you and others so many new digital tools that I can use in my class. I learn from you and others to persevere despite the challenges that we might face in life. I know that you are a risk taker in changing hardship into success. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson said “To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often“. Together in this journey as educators, you are not alone. We always have each other. We might have been through hell and back in life. But we have a choice not to remain there. If we choose to live in misery, we will be miserable in life. I know you will make a better choice than that. I pray may Allah ease the challenging process.

COVID-19: 2nd dose of vaccine

Unlike the first dose, I experienced more severe effect. I got my second vaccine on 30 August 2021 (Friday) around 1130am. I didn’t feel any immediate effects few hours after that. My body was aching all over after maghrib. It was getting worst around midnight. I had fever. I had taken Panadol before I went to sleep. But it didn’t help much to curb the feverish feeling that I experienced around midnight and early morning.

So, I ended up having trouble to sleep on the first night that I got vaccinated. The next day (Saturday) after Subuh prayer, I felt worst. My body aching did not go away. My body was aching when I was lying on my bed and it didn’t go away when I tried to sit. I felt light-headed when I was walking.

There was a session at 2pm (Saturday 20 August 2021) that I wanted to attend. I just could not miss this session. I ended up lying on my bed with my laptop on my stomach to attend the session and write a note using this blog.

I decided to take a leave on Sunday (21 August 2021). Even though there was a panel meeting on Sunday, I decided to skip it. I just needed a rest. I just ignore whatever messages that came in that day. But somebody called and asked me about something which is needed for auditing purposes even though the course is not audited yet (it is just offered last two semesters – a new course). I felt much better after Asar so I tried to prepare the needed document. Just do it for once and for all as I have deadlines for other that I need to do.

Based on my experience dealing with the side effects of vaccination, it gives me a time to think about my life as I was lying down on my bed, looking at the ceiling – doing nothing. All of this while, I realise that I take things for granted. Small things matter and I should not ignore when my body starts to show certain symptoms. I should not be guilty to take a rest or take a break. I deserve it. Indeed.

Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya ……

I purposely put the title in Malay using one of the famous idiom: “Sepandai-pandai tupai melompat akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga”. No doubt academic status especially being a professor is a goal that some people set as academicians. There is nothing wrong in that but in the current practice of academia, sometimes to chase fame and glory, some people do not hesitate to cut corners and resort to unethical practice even. It is kind of shame such practice happens. One of the latest is by a renowned researcher (or known as one before he was caught), Dan Ariely. I first came across his name through TED Talk. Unlike some other well-known researchers in psychology like Phillip Zimbardo, Carol Dweck and such, he is not that famous when I was an undergraduate students.

Dan Ariely’s research was about honesty. It is really interesting to know what makes people to be honest or dishonest and can one’s honesty be “changed”? His research provides an insight about that but later on when other researchers tried to replicate his work, they found out otherwise. This is when some people start to dig deeper. Later on they found out that Dan Ariely concealed some data and thus, ironically when though his research is about being honest, yet he is dishonest about his own research. The evidence that researchers found about his work is compelling. Click HERE to know more.

So, I would rather be true and honest to myself and others than being famous or getting the highest position of academic accolade i.e. professorship. I create this post as a reminder that what is important that I should focus on and do not jump into the bandwagon of unscrupulous practice.

What is my first impression of …..

I was called to meet the Chair few days ago.  At first, I was thinking, what should I do to prepare myself to see her?  Well, there is nothing better to do than the usual stuff that I do when I have something big up coming.  Is meeting the Chair fall under such category?  I know that it is not a usual occasion for her to call us one by one.  So, it could be a big thing. 

I have asked around some seniors and they told me about their meeting.  So, I know what to expect.  I hope that mine goes well.  That’s it.

Did it go well?  One thing that I could say is the meeting is a memorable one.  I use “Is” rather than “was” because it does leave indelible mark in my heart. 

Knowing that the whole world will read this (do I care?), I just want to say that “It is not easy to fulfil the expectations that are set forth by others”.  Yup.  As an academician, I know and am fully aware of the things that I have to do but at the same time, I know very well that in the end of the day, what matters most is “Will it matter in the eyes of Allah?”  That’s the question that I would always ask myself. 

Will it matter to get promoted?  Whoah!  Ok.  I am not going to delve into this any further. 

Let’s take a step back about this matter.  I always ask myself about this “In what way that my existence could help others to be a better person?” So, I might appear as a strict supervisor to my research students because if I could not help them to be a better person, what’s the point of being their supervisor?  Of course, in doing so, I will prompt them to give their best.  Clearly, some people who are paper chasing type would have different idea about working hard or working their ass off.

So, does it enhance my importance by getting promoted?  Clearly, it does not matter.  I learn from great people with the title Professor who are thinkers.  Do I find such among my current colleagues? 

Oh, do I have time to look at them closely to make such evaluation?  Better keep myself busy doing other things like making videos for my class than evaluating them.  Just say that I have my own standard that I use to evaluate myself.  It does not rely on whatever and whoever KPI.  Capisce? 

 

I like the picture in your webometrics

One of the juniors asked me where do I get the picture from for this blog.  Well, it is a picture that I took long time ago when I was in Durham. It was autumn.  Durham has a picturesque landscape.  Every nook and corner is breathtaking.  I am glad that I decided to do my PhD there even though I vividly remember some of my friends mocked my decision of going there because Durham is less unknown as Cambridge or Oxford.  Yeah right.  That is a common assumption by some Malaysians about Durham.

I like the picture because it shows a canoeist in the River Wear (Note: Durham has its own rowing club).  Yup.  The name of the river is River Wear.

This is the route that I used to go to School of Education

I took this picture a day after I had my viva with my friend, Putri who came all the way from London to accompany me for my viva.

I took this in autumn 2007. Not long after I started my PhD journey

A rowing boat in the middle of the frozen river. Where are the ‘hunky’ rowers? Dancing on ice, anyone? I took this picture in winter 2010.

 

School of Education EXPLORIA and FSSH Gotong Royong 2020

School of Education EXPLORIA and FSSH Gotong Royong 2020 was conducted on 1 October 2020 (Thursday).  We were divided into groups.  Our group composed of academic and non-academic staff.  The dynamic our group is awesome.  We strategized to pick the places and how to pose and who would the be tracker since there are members in our group who are not in the best of health.

We had to detour a bit as it was starting to rain when we were about to take pictures nearby the Faculty of Built Environment and Surveying. We switched on our touristy mode. So, when we came across murals on the column at the faculty, we strike a pose.

As a tracker, it was my responsibility to walk as far I could, whereas the others who with health conditions would take the short-cut to go back to our faculty.  I am definitely not the fittest in this group but I tried my best to walk the farthest as I could.  I thought that I walked quite far but only managed to walk 1.7km.  I was not satisfied but my members said that it is enough when I showed them the results.  They were waiting for me at the designated place.  Some of them were panting and feeling breathless.  Age is catching up.  Indeed.

We walked 1.7km. I was assigned as the tracker. My average speed is 2.2 (Don’t know what it means though).

There are nine of us (not in any order): Prof. Madya Dr. Aede Hatib bin Musta’amal, Dr. Muhamad Abd.Hadi bin Bunyamin, Encik Mohd.Rafiz bin Abu Bakar, Puan Roziah binti Tamin, Encik Rosli bin Mohamad, Puan Mas Aminah binti A.Kadir, Encik Razeed bin Md.Supaai, Encik Zulraizam bin Shamsudin and me. The one who took the picture is Mas. Being young and energetic, we assigned her to take pictures for us.

Our Chair, Prof Fatin Aliah Phang and Dr Shahrul Ridwan were among the earliest to reach at the meeting point

A usual practice. Take picture before we start anything

Anda rasa stres? Bimbang atau resah? Ataupun anda rasa sukar untuk positif atau tiada harapan?

A friend of mine gave the following announcement in our Whatsapp group.  I took the Depression Anxiety Stress Scale (DASS21) and like what I expect, the scores are high for stress.  My friends start to become worried about me.  Thanks, guys.  I am still ok.  I know how to manage my stress under control.  But, looking at the stress level, they know that when I am saying that I am ok, it means the opposite.  Oh, really?  Come on!  That is my initial reaction.  One of them private messaged me and really asked me to get help.  The only person that I can think of at this moment is this senior.  A certified counselor.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Antara kekangan yang menyebabkan pesakit lambat mendapatkan rawatan kesihatan mental adalah kerana tidak tahu apa yang perlu dilakukan.

Jadi, disertakan cara-cara untuk mendapatkan rawatan di fasiliti kesihatan kerajaan di Malaysia.

1. Lakukan Depression Anxiety Stress Scale (DASS21) secara atas talian 

2. Jika keputusan dalam skala yang membimbangkan, bawa keputusan tersebut ke klinik kesihatan berdekatan.

3. Selepas pemeriksaan, doktor akan beri surat rujukan jika perlu

4. Bawa surat tersebut ke hospital yang ditetapkan untuk mendapatkan rawatan selanjutnya.

Selain itu, anda juga boleh mendapatkan khidmat nasihat dari

1. Kaunselor sekolah/tempat belajar/pejabat anda
2. Pusat Kaunseling Selangor
3. LPPKN terdekat
4. Mentari
5. Klinik Psikologi swasta
6. Hospital Pakar swasta

Sebarkan informasi ini kepada kenalan yang memerlukan. Semoga usaha kecil ini dapat membantu mereka yang menderita dalam diam.

Konsep Tawakkal kepada Allah SWT

Fakta-fakta penting berhubung Tawakkal :

(1) Tawakkal kepada Allah adalah menifestasi dari Kalimah Syahadah pengakuan Kalimah La-Ilaha Illallah. Dalam ertikata lain Tawakkal kepada Allah adalah cetusan dari Iman yang sebenar / Tauhid yang hakiki.

(2) Bicara berkenaan Tawakkal berkait rapat dengan Taqdir, Qadha Qadar, Kuasa Mutlaq Allah Ta’ala, Af’al Allah (Perbuatan Allah) dan af’al makhluq,

(3) Setiap orang beriman di perintah Tawakkal kepada Allah semata2 dan jauhi sama sekali Tawakkal kepada makhluq. Tawakkal kepada Allah adalah tanda-tanda Keimanan dan Tawakkal kepada makhluq adalah menyalahi Tauhid, menjadi Syirik khafi.

(4) Menyandarkan apa jua amal ibadah kepada usaha ikhtiar, kemampuan diri atau kekuatan diri adalah termasuk Syirik khafi.

(5) Bergantung hati kepada makhluq untuk memberi manfaat atau menolak mudarat adalah Syirik khafi.

(6) Menggantungkan apa jua kejayaan atau kemenangan kepada usaha ikhtiar, kemampuan diri atau kekuatan makhluq lainnya adalah Syirik khafi.

(7) Tawakkal kepada makhluk adalah Syirik khafi yang paling halus dan hampir-hampir tidak dapat dikenali oleh orang-orang awam. Lazimnya orang-orang awam tidak peduli akan hal ini kerana tidak mempunyai pengetahuan berkenaannya, akibatnya mereka selalu lah bergelumang di dalam Syirik khafi tanpa mereka tidak sedar.

(8) Orang alim (yang tidak mendidik hati nya dan tidak berusaha menyucikannya dengan pimpinan Mursyid yang siddiq) juga tidak mampu melepaskan diri dari Syirik khafi yang paling halus ini. Meskipun mereka mempunyai pengetahuan berkenaan dengannya, mereka seringkali terjatuh kerana wujud sifat “keakuan” di dalam dirinya.

(9) Seseorang yang memandang keupayaan diri, melihat kemampuan diri melakukan suatu kebaikan serta menyandarkan amal ibadah kepada kekuatan diri ini adalah Syirik khafi kerana mempersekutukan Allah pada Af’alNya dan Sifat Nya Yang Maha Berkuasa memperbuat segala sesuatu.

(10) Memandang keupayaan diri, atau melihat kemampuan diri untuk melakukan suatu kebaikan atau menyandarkan amal ibadah kepada kekuatan diri ini berbeza dengan ‘Ujub. Orang ini BUKAN ‘Ujub tetapi lebih halus dari ‘Ujub. Orang yang ‘Ujub mempunyai sifat “bangga, megah, takjub, hairan dengan suatu kelebihan dirinya”, sedangkan orang yang menyandarkan amal kepada diri sendiri TIDAK mempunyai sifat-sifat demikian, tetapi dia hanya melihat keupayaan serta kemampuan diri melakukan ketaatan dan ini juga termasuk dalam Syirik khafi.

(11) Fahamilah dengan sungguh-sungguh: Menyandarkan amal kebaikan kepada keupayaan diri atau bergantung harap kepada keupayaan makhluq merupakan Syirik khafi yang penghabisan yang teramat halus. Apabila seseorang lepas bebas dari Syirik khafi penghabisan ini, maka barulah di katakan dia telah memiliki jiwa murni serta Tauhid hakiki.

Sesungguhnya hal ini amat rumit sekali dikesan oleh mereka yang tidak menuntut jalan menyucikan hatinya.

Sumber: MAJLIS TAZKIRAH JILANI

Reminiscing the good old days? Aye

Someone asked me about my SPM results.  Well, it was more than 20 years ago when I had the SPM exam.  I still remember what my results were.  I got C4 for Malay language and A2 for English and A1 for Arabic.  Yup.  Don’t ask my how I got such results.  I tried my best.  Indeed.

Thinking back, even though I like reading yet I was more inclined to listen to English songs.  That might explain why I got a better grade for English as compared to Malay.  But if you ask me if I can still converse in Arabic, the answer is No.  But I can roughly understand if someone converse in Arabic.  Especially when it comes to numbers.  I still remember numbers in Arabic.  So, it does help to use it when I performed hajj.  There was this incident when I wanted to buy a jubah which the sales person tried to sell it for “150 riyal”, but when he was asked by a Tunisian couple how much the jubah cost, he replied “80 riyal”.  To his surprise, I replied in my broken Arabic that he was trying to cheat in which he told two different prices to different customers.  Of course I got the jubah for 80 riyal in the end.

Learning language is not easy.  Yet, using it for different context such as for academic writing, magazine and such requires one to be proficient in selecting the wording and whatsnot.  Clearly, I don’t think I am that proficient.  Well, apparently, writing in this webometrics in English makes some people think that I am proficient.  I feel like a fake.  Indeed.