It was my masters degree convocation day. He gave out our diploma/scroll. The year was 2004. It has been 15 years since I met him in person. Even though I never had any chance to know him better but I know he is a good guy. His name was commemorated in IIUM Gombak Campus mosque (Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah mosque). I heard about the news of his passing on the radio, on my way back home from UTM.
May Allah Bless his soul.
I have 55 students in this section. TEASLIANs. They are fun, quick-witted and some of them are serious and studious. Some are playful but of course, they are among the selected ones to be in this programme. Since it was conducted in a big examination hall at Rahman Putra College (KRP), I was thinking that perhaps it would be better if I put the best wishes card on their table and thus, it will differentiate my students from other students in different sections. Attaboy!
When I announced it to the students before they entered the exam hall that my students would get a card on their table, I noticed that some other students were sighing because it is as if I am treating my students favorably as compared to their lecturers. This is one of the things that I learn when I was at school: Always make your students feel special even though you are assertive (tegas). Jim Henson (the famous puppeteer and creator of Sesame Street) once said “Kids don’t remember what you try to teach them but they remember what you are”. On top of that, taking examination could be stressful to some students and one of the things that can decrease stress is to change the emotion into positive one. When you get something from your lecturer i.e. a card whereas the other students from different sections get nothing, you feel special. It is important to make others feel good about themselves.
[Note: Of course this makes the other students who belong to different sections feel envious because they don’t get any best wishes card. I apologise for that. I don’t know them though because they are not my students even though they are the School of Education, UTM students 😀]
Feeling special makes them feel happy and this indirectly will decrease their stress. When they got to their seat and looked at the card, I saw that majority of them smile. They started to loosen up a bit. Some of them looked at the back of the card, checking if I wrote something else. Well, to tell the truth, I didn’t have time to write for each and every 55 cards that I would give them. I just got the cards last Monday (two days before their exam).
How to make your student feel special at the same time being assertive? This is not an easy task. But I believe in the small things that you do which matter. You have to show your concern in various ways. You can make students feel special in many ways. Of course, if you give them a card, it means that you need to invest. But, it is not that costly. For 300 cards, I just spent less than RM100. The card is color printed and to make it extra special in which they cannot find it elsewhere or at store, I designed it myself using Canva.
I admit that there are times when I lost control of my emotion in class (when I was doing my LI), but at the end of the day, I want to let the students know that I care about them. I got mad not because I hate them, but I hate their attitude such as being lazy, or not taking serious thing seriously.
Alhamdulillah I never blew off my steam with my UG students this semester. Attaboy! Because I see unlimited potentials in them regardless what they do in class (even though some of them fell asleep, went out for a while to have a break by eating lunch while I was teaching in class, colored their hair yellow, brunette, purplish shade etc.) . Of course, I just observed them from afar because I know that as adult learners, they are responsible for their own learning. I guess I am using the examples that were portrayed by my former mentors when I was in IIUM. They were relax and cool. I enjoyed being in and taking their classes even though I knew that they couldn’t teach all the courses that I have to take in order to complete my degree.
As a teacher/lecturer (you name it, it is just a term but basically what I do is still the same – teaching), you always want the best for your students. I know that it is not easy to create an ever lasting bond with my students. But, I hope that they would remember me for who I am and they would remember the warm fuzzy feeling they feel on the day they took my examination due to the card I gave them. Perhaps I am the only teacher/lecturer that ever would give them a best wishes card before exam (tongue in cheek remark!).
P.S: If I teach the same students in another course, I guess I have to give them different things, not card. A best wishes bookmark, perhaps 😀
A student’s representative messaged me asking me if I have the answers to the last year exam questions. My reply: “I was not around last year so I don’t know and don’t have the questions and answers. I was at school. One whole year“
I vividly remember the class which I took with Joe Denver (nickname that Dr Joharry Othman uses). One of his class assignments was to research about the examples of teaching to the test practice. Since knowing the impact of teaching to the test on students i.e. it makes students “good test takers but lousy learners“, I determine to minimise any learning activity that would lead to that. Of course, sometimes in a good faith you give students learning activities to enhance their understanding but giving too much questions like quizzes, past year exam questions etc. might lead to “teaching to the test” phenomenon.
I don’t want to be an advocate for this practice in honour of what Dr Joe has taught me. I would disrespect him if I go against what he has taught me before. I don’t want to do that to my teachers. So, I will not give too much questions that students can practice through drill-and-grill method. NEVER! In sha Allah
I have had this conversation numerous times with my colleagues (different people) over the years about making difference in other people life especially the students that we taught and teach. The recent one was last week on Thursday (16 May 2019)
When I was at school while undergoing my LI, I could see that many former students came to visit their old teachers. This gives me a warm fuzzy feeling and even though there are some students who came visiting me before after they finished their study but they are few. At school, I even saw some of the students who came to visit their former teachers brought the latest new addition in their family i.e. children. I never had that experience before.
I racked my brain to think about what else could I do other than interacting with the students in class. I started to google few quotes for the posters that I have promised to give to my English panel colleagues (at school). While I was browsing Canva, I had this idea to give a best wishes card to my students. But what should I do with the rest of the cards if I only use half of it (because I was thinking to give it to the school kids that I have taught before)?
This gives me an idea to give the card to all my students at university that I teach as well. I know it is kind of unusual to do this and I had never have any lecturer or had seen any senior who has done that before, but what a heck, there is nothing wrong to give the students a best wishes card. Let’s start this tradition!
Am I making any impact in my student’s life by giving this card? Only Allah Knows best.
My motto: Do the best, pray for the best, leave the rest to Allah and always be thankful with the best things that happen in life even though we might perceive it negatively.
P.S: I can’t wait to see their reaction seeing this card on top of the table before their exam.
Which is which? To be a generalist and well-rounded person with versatile and adaptable skills or to be an expert in one specific thing and is really good at it? It is a conundrum, isn’t it?
But even though it is highly applauded to be versatile and adept at many things yet there are cases and instances when being an expert is better than being a versatile individual. In what case? Especially, in a case of dealing with human life. For example, an expert in engineering cannot claim he/she is an expert in psychological disorders. To know the differences between one psychological disorder are not easy because there might be similar symptoms of one psychological disorder with another. For example, layman might use to the term “depression”. Depression is a symptom of various mood disorders. Meaning a person who is depressed could be diagnosed as a person with depressive disorders or bipolar disorders or obsessive compulsive disorders (just a few examples). So, in each different mood disorders, there are many symptoms that might be similar to another psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders.
When a friend approached me to be her supervisor, I asked her about her research interest. When she told me that she wants to do something related to management disaster (which has nothing to do with school or education in specific), I told her that she better searches potential supervisors from School of Human Resource Development and Psychology, not School of Education even though both schools are under the same faculty, Faculty of Social Sciences and Humanities. She sounded worried because she is hoping that I could be her supervisor. I told her, as much I wish that I could have her as my supervisee, but I firmly asserted that I am not an expert in management research or human resources. A simple google of Journal of Management Studies would point out school/faculty of human resources and management or industrial and organisational psychology (I/O psychology). I would never think that I would do any research and later on publish in such journal. Never in my dream. Even though education is still considered as humanities or some considered it as social science, yet it is different from I/O psychology.
In addition, earlier on when she asked me if I can help with the analysis of her project, I was thinking that she has the data already. When I asked further, apparently she is planning to collect the data and thinking about the instrument/tool to collect the data. Well, data analysis is still a long way to go because there is no data yet at this point. Man, this thing could take years to complete. Indeed. It is not easy but it is worth the trouble.
While writing this post, I received a message from her (she was in a meeting with the Dean of Faculty of Science, Prof Dr Abdul Rahim about management disaster). Around 12pm, the meeting ended and I sent her back. I asked what were the things they discussed if it is not confidential. Well, because it is confidential, she only said that they were discussing about technical stuff on disaster management. Some of the things discussed are over her head. Jokingly I replied “It would be disastrous if I am your supervisor because I am not an expert in disaster management. Instead of helping you to understand how people management disaster, you will become the disaster yourself“. LOL 😀
Waiting. I am waiting for my students to submit their assignments, take their second test etc. I know. It is my fault for giving them so many chances to improve in a way that I could not give them the finalised marks yet. I only gave them probational marks. I don’t make it as carry marks though because they can count for themselves the marks that they get on probational basis.
Some of the students take this opportunity to improve but some others, they just wait for their final exam to give their very best shots.
Argh, I hate waiting. Indeed it resonates with this saying “Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful” – Jose N Harris from his book MI VIDA: A story of faith, hope and love.
I checked my email today (20 May 2019, Monday). My former student sent me an email letting me know about his paper has been published at a journal. Alhamdulillah. To know more, you can go the Jurnal Kemanusiaan
It is about the experiences of teachers using Frog VLE
It is made compulsory for all teachers in Malaysia to use Frog VLE as a part of their teaching practice. It is similar to UTM elearning but the features are slightly different. If you are not a teacher, parent or student, you might not be able to use it because your account will be inactive because there will be no interactive activities that you can link to parents and students.
When he first came to see me to discuss about this issue, I was worried because he might find it difficult to find relevant references relating to Frog VLE because it is fairly new thing. This was few years ago. But I told him, “Nazry, just go for it. In sha Allah your study will benefit other researchers who want to explore this issue.“
He is one of the students who would be “the darling” of all supervisors. He is hardworking, diligent, meticulous and resilient. There were times when he felt to change the direction of his research. I told him to stay focused. “Nazry, it is not easy to get data but you have to be persistent. Don’t give up, It is quite a normal phenomenon to meet people who hesitate to be your respondents in your study. But, you need to highlight their importance in helping others to understand any issue relating to the challenges that they face to use Frog VLE. Doing a research means that not only you will understand certain issue better but you can help others to understand the issue better especially when you publish your work“. When I said that, he seemed to be motivated to stay focused because this time around, he has another aim: to publish his work.
I always say the same kind of things to my research students, yet only a handful would like to take the challenge to publish their work. Some are quite complacent to just finish their work and put their thesis on the shelves for display.
We have known each other more than 20 years. As our life start to unfold into different spectrum and colors, we keep in touch once in a blue moon while respecting each other space. Little that I know our meeting would be a little bit different this time around. She called to say that she was in JB. To be specific, she was staying at Pulai Spring. I was in a middle of a meeting. I told her to give me another half an hour. She called me again as I was about to leave the meeting. I rushed to my room to pick up my purse and as it was inside my Ikea red foldable shopping bag, I just grabbed it. I met her who was waiting in front of Canseleri Building. Above all places that she can park her black Mercedes, she chose that special place!
She sounded chirpy than usual. Or is it my imagination that when we met few years ago she sounded more serious? I greet her with a hug. Did we hug last time when we met? I just could not help from thinking that she was a bit different this time around.
It was lunch time and I asked if she had her lunch. She told me that she had her lunch at the hotel where she was staying. She told me that she just want to have a chat with me. To catch up with an old friend. Yup. We met at IIUM Matriculation centre in 1996. We had many classes together since we both majored in psychology.
We decided to have light munchies and hot drinks at McD. After we took our seat while waiting for our order, she had a quick look at me. I was wearing a black jubah and shawl with flowery design. Of course, she noticed my Ikea red plastic bag. “Dij, you are still you. You can afford to buy more expensive bag than that! But, hey we are the same! We don’t care about the brand as long as it is practical“. She laughed after saying this. Looking at myself, I laughed at own self too. “I don’t have that typical image of a lecturer, huh?” I asked her. She said “No. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad that you are still like this. You don’t change much, don’t you?” I just laughed. I have changed a lot, but there are some parts of me that still the same. I told her that at this age, there are so many things have changed. I told her that I start to have grey hair and I also have nearsightedness. I am old. Age is catching up. Both of us laughed again. We have a good time to tease each other this time around. I feel somehow our friendship has matured to different level.
We asked each other about the latest development in our life and suddenly she told me this “Dij, I am on medical leave because I have depression.” I was shocked. I was in the similar situation and I know it is not easy without intervention and professional help. I asked her “Do you have to take any medication?” She told me that a psychiatrist gives her some medication to take. I didn’t know how to react. She is a dear friend. I know her family and siblings. I have met her mom and dad. Her mom still remembers me. Gosh, it is not easy to share this news. Looking at how quiet I was, she assured me that she is ok. She is in a better situation than before. Then, she laughed. “Dij, I am really ok. I am glad that you still want to meet me even though I know that you are busy. You know, there are some of our friends who don’t want to meet me when I ask them out to hang out”. She updated me about her family and both of her parents are retired. Alhamdulillah, both of them are well.
Then she suggested that we should take a picture. “I want to meet Dee on my way back to KL tonight and I want to show her our picture“, she told me. “Tonight? When are you planning to meet her?” I asked her. “Around 7 or 8pm?” she replied. Dee is our friend. A Mary Kay advocate. She converts most of our friends to become MK users. She is a business-minded type.
“Did Dee approach you to use MK product?” I asked. “You?” she asked me back. We looked at each other and laughed. That’s the answer! We don’t have to say anything to know the answer. Old friends can read each other’s mind quite well. Indeed.
The lunch time was almost finished and she wanted to meet another friend before she went back to KL. We had to say Goodbye now. She sent me back to UTM at 2pm just in time for me to go for another meeting. I told her that I didn’t have the opportunity yet to show her my office and faculty. She told me “I guess we have to think about another meeting. Perhaps you will show me around more“. In sha Allah.
DD, thanks for your time! I never thought that McD hot choc is quite delicious.
It was National Sports Day (Hari Sukan Negara) which happened to be on 13 November 2018 (Saturday). To be honest, unless I go window shopping at the mall like JPO with my sister (an annual event for us to find new shoes and whatsnot before Eid), I would never walk more than 3k steps per day. That shows how “physically active” I am (tongue in cheek remark!)
But when I was at school while undergoing my LI, I could not help myself from not involve in any of the school event. So, one of the events that I have to participate in was this National Sports Day in which we had to walk more than 3km (which equivalent to 3k steps). We were assigned to walk with a group of students based on their form so, Ita and I were assigned to walk with the Form 2 SK (girls). What I notice was the 14 years old girls walk slowly than I am. I was impatient when I have to walk slower than my normal pace, so I overtook many of them. I was supposed to be on the back row and Ita has to walk on the front but here I was overtaking everybody and Ita caught me in action. I was guilty as charge because Ita took this picture as an evidence. But, there was nothing to worry because there was form 3 at the back of this group and there were teachers walking with them as well. The students were in a good hand.
When I overtook some of the students, some of them could not help from saying “Teacher, why are you walking so fast?” (Teacher, kenapa jalan laju sangat?” I replied, “This is my NORMAL pace” They tried to copy my pace but after a while, I heard some of them started to grumble “I am tired. I give up. Teacher walks so fast” (Penat lah. Tak boleh ikut teacher jalan laju sangat“. I just laughed. They are younger than me, for obvious reason. But, unlike them, I would bare the consequences later on (which of course, they wouldn’t know about it ;P)
But still, Alhamdulillah at 40+ I can still walk more than 3k steps per day. In Sha Allah I will try to stay physically active as regular as I could.
Z was my research methodology class student. From day one, I could sense that this guy is different. After having a bad experience with “Minah t test tak tahu” in the previous semester, I was a bit high strung and guarded with students. I cannot let myself to be bullied twice. I had enough.
I told myself to be careful, no matter what. Don’t be such a fool to treat students naively. I can be nice to them but there would be a limit. There would always be a boundary that I have to safeguard no matter what.
He got good results for the class. Later on, he requested to have me as his supervisor even though the programme coordinator wanted him as her supervisee. He went to see the programme coordinator to ask for a change of supervisor. It baffled the programme coordinator after all, there are no students ever requested me as their supervisor. This is the first time (but not the last. There was another female student who also did the same who personally requested that I would be her supervisor after taking my research methodology class – I will tell about her in Part 2).
I was a tough task-master. I pushed them to do the best. In their first semester of doing RS1 with me, I asked them if they want to present in a conference. One of them was not keen with the idea of presenting in a conference because she was taking care of her mom. Weekends are spent on taking care of her mom in Kuching, Sarawak. But, Z took up the challenge to present in the conference. In order to make sure that he would not back off from presenting in the conference, I paid the conference fees once he submitted the abstract. Yup. I would not let him came out with financial issue as an excuse. He was shocked that I used my money to pay for the conference fees which cost more than RM500. Well, my policy is if any student is worth my time, they are worth my money too. I believe that as their supervisor, I am together with them in their journey of becoming future researchers. So, I will make sure that they would get the best support from me as their supervisor. [Pssstt… but not all students are worth my time and money though if they are lazy, highly dependent on me to even find references for them. Capisc?]
Alhamdulillah both of them finished their masters degree with flying colors. They were awarded with Best Student Award (of course, I would never attend such award ceremony because I feel that that is their day. Not mine).
Time passes by so quickly. After graduating, there are only a handful of students who will keep in touch with me on regular basis. Most of them vanished into thin air. But he is not the typical student I ever have. He starts to let me into his life. He starts to treat me like his big sister.
When he lost his dad in December 2018, he let me know about it. When his mom got stroke, he messaged me to break the news. When he started to make plan to do PhD, he emailed me to ask for tips and guidance even though I am no longer his supervisor. When he got an interview for a scholarship to study abroad which is sponsored by the Ministry of Education, he asked me to help him prepare a short proposal of a certain topic which was given by the Ministry of Education. Due to the short period of time left to prepare the proposal, we brainstormed together about the possible issues relating to the given topic. He was grateful that I am willing to help him with the proposal.
Well, to tell the truth, when he was preparing the proposal, I was preparing a proposal too which happened to be of a similar topic. I gave list of references that he can use for his proposal. In addition, he also starts to email various potential supervisor at various UK universities including my former supervisor [I emailed my former supervisor, Steve Higgins of Durham University and let him know about my student who inspires to be his supervisee too. Unfortunately, Steve declined to be his supervisor because currently he has more than 12 graduate students. That’s a lot as compared to when he was supervising me.]
I had a conversation with one of my colleagues today. We talked about students and how can we make difference in their life. I told her that when I was at school, since we have one whole year to get to know each other better, I don’t have much trouble to get to know the students at personal level. We have ample time for that. At university, unless the students are your supervisee or students who take many classes with you, it is quite difficult to even remember their names. Sometimes, they even act like they don’t even know you when you bump into each other at a corridor even though I will always look at them intensely with a thought “I have seen him/her/them somewhere but where?” Some of the students would give salam or smile. The friendlier type will ask about my well-being (Apa khabar, Dr?) and also will tease me by saying “Dr, you don’t remember me, right? I am with this so-and-so in your class but you only remember her/him, but not me” [“Dr, mesti tak ingat saya kan? Saya satu kelas dengan si polan tapi Dr ingat dia je, tak ingat pun saya“. Of course, I could not deny the fact that I would remember the class rep better than the rest of them 😀
I wish that I could have long lasting relationship with my students yet, I do have to admit that nothing last forever. But I pray that no matter what or where my students are, May Allah Bless me with students who make difference in other people’s life.
P.S: To this student, I wish you all the best! Thanks for believing in me as your mentor.