Cringe. That is the word to describe my feeling when I heard someone said “Teacher, I want to be like you” to me. I looked at her in (half) disbelief. “Kenapa Teacher tengok saya macam tu? [Translation: Why are you looking at me like that? ” I was speechless. To be honest, I do not want anyone to be like me. I know that perhaps this student perceives me as a role model. I am not a good role model. I am completely aware of this.
Being a teenager can be challenging, especially you are in a transition period between childhood and adulthood. I was a teenager in late 90s. So you can guess I am not young anymore. In a few years, I will be 50. The big five zero.
In my twenties and thirties, I had experienced more downs than ups. But, I had no regret. It is difficult to accept failures than successes. I am a human being. I have feelings but I learn from my mentors especially those who taught me psychology courses (you know who you are), that understanding oneself does not makes life easier. Learning psychology does not mean that I understand myself better than other people. It is far from that. But there are theories that I can refer to and reflect on when “things” happen. So, it is up to me to make sense of things that happen in myself. Nothing else matters.
