I always admire this guy since I was young (I think when I started to read about an article that he wrote in the 1990s). To envision myself as an academic like him, it is something that I have in mind. It is not easy to choose this path but I will try my best to stay true to myself In sha Allah. He was one of the co-authors of Rukun Negara (I googled about this). I guess, every time I recite Rukun Negara, it will remind me of him.
When I heard about his passing, I am sad. As I browsed the news to read more about him, I came across his saying “The child is the father of the man. Educate and groom the young person, and he will grow up to be the right kind of adult. If you wait until he becomes an adult, it is too late”
As I marked the exam papers, I could not help from wondering this thing “What does it mean to be a truly educated person?”. Looking at some of the lackluster inarticulate answers of my PG students, I was wondering what went wrong in my class. Did I emphasis the wrong thing? Did I emphasis exam results than what they should know regardless of whatever grade they might get?
I encourage my students to be reflective. I give them reflective questions. When I found a note about what kinds of questions that self-regulated learners ask themselves, I share the note with my students. In one class, I discussed with them about self-regulation model/theory and using the note, we discussed about how we can use it in different context of our lives. I did my best in this case to guide my students not to be good test takers, but true learners. But again, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink“.
But one thing that I notice is not many of my students are avid readers. Meaning, not many of them like to read. When I asked some of them if they have the textbook that I have recommended, NONE of them have the textbook (this was my UG class). Unfortunately, it happens not only in my UG class, but also in my PG class. The only difference is for my PG class, they realise the importance of having a textbook in the middle of semester, so by week 10 (there are only 14 weeks in one semester), majority have the textbook. Well, better late than never. The UG class? I rest my case. Perhaps they did borrow the textbook from the library and it is just that I don’t know about it (husn zahn in Arabic – or in English it means think positively or in Malay – bersangka baik)
I was marking the personality psychology paper. I am sad. I thought that they could answer well because they were allowed to bring in notes. Well, apparently, some of them didn’t study well. It can be seen from their answers. A copy -paste answer with lack of articulation. So, I decided to take a break for a few minutes by checking my email. Sengtat has promised me to submit a part of the first chapter of his thesis. I have yet to receive any email from him yet. Sigh.
As I browse the title and sender of the emails that I received, my eyes caught something. “Thank you, Dr Hadijah”.
Jolyn gave me an email to thank me for the best wishes card that I gave them yesterday (the first student who did so). I never thought and expected any student to thank me. After all, it is just a card.
But, I want to make difference in my students’ life (in positive ways). Like what my mentors have done for me. For example, Yedullah Kazmi gave me books, pencil and whatsnot. Every time I read the books that he gave me, I always remember the time when I was his student. Even though he used to call me SII (stupid, idiot, ignoramus), but I never sulked or felt bad about it. I consider it as a form of endearment. What a heck! It is not easy to be the chosen one to be called as such.
But, I do believe that we need to invest in relationship. It is quite easy to invest in it using money, but most difficult one is time and concern (care?).
I don’t know how far my effort will leave its impact, but I do believe that “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together“
I have taught this course more than one semester. It has been more than 5 years in fact. I am not saying that I am an expert in this subject matter but I know the difficulty of remembering many theories related to personality which belong to different schools of thoughts. It is not easy. So, to help the students in this matter, I allow them to bring few pages (A4 size) of notes that they can bring to the exam hall.
But I never thought that they would exchange their notes among themselves during the exam. I never anticipate this thing could happen. This was the first incident that happened in five years (and I hope this would be the last). This is akin to cheating because you are looking at other people’s notes, rather than on your own. I was informed by a student who saw this and I double checked it. When I walked around nearby the conspirators, I noticed that there were notes with different hand-writing on both sides of them. I knew instantly that what had been reported is true. Indeed.
I didn’t want to spoil the “mood” so, I just kept it to myself. But I would definitely not let this thing go without any punishment. This is a classic example of “Give them an inch and they’ll take a mile” or in Malay “Diberi betis hendak peha“
There are several types of assessments: 1) Assessment of learning, 2) Assessment for learning and 3) Assessment as learning
Assessment of learning
This refers to summative assessment. It could be in a form of final examination or any examination that meant to see to what extent students have understood certain concepts.
Assessment for learning
This refers to formative assessment. One of the main purposes of formative assessment is to see to what extent teachers could improve their teaching and support that they provide to students based on students’ performance. For example, a quiz that is given to students based on certain topics covered. Based on the quiz results, teacher would make a decision for improvement of teaching and learning activities in class.
Assessment as learning
This refers to reflectiveself-evaluation. This type of assessment is not meant for grading purposes but it is meant to help students to understand themselves better in terms of what they have learned and how well they have understood the concepts/topics they have learned.
For me, it can be when you let the students decide if they want to quiz to be graded or ungraded. Meaning, they can take any quiz that I give without feeling pressure of being graded and this would be “assessment as learning” – because they take the quiz as a means to help them reflect on their understanding and learning i.e. reflective self-evaluation. But at the same time, the same quiz can be considered as formative assessment [assessment for learning] if the students want the marks of the quiz to be graded.
How can we (as teachers) implement all three assessments?
In my case, what I normally do is, I have a mixture of assessments that I give to my students such as quiz, presentation, report and final exam. Final exam is an example of summative assessment i.e. assessment of learning. For quiz, I make it in such a way that there will be graded quizzes (formative assessment or assessment for learning) and there are also ungraded quizzes (assessment as learning). For the ungraded quizzes , I normally give after we have finished discussing about a topic, for instance. But for graded quizzes, it comprises of several topics. So, in this case prior to take any graded quiz, students have self-assessed themselves on any given topic. Of course, since it is ungraded, I notice that some students don’t take it seriously and thus, will not make any attempt to take the ungraded quiz. I have seen it in the recent courses that I taught this semester (Semester 2, 2018/2019).
What should I do then?
Well, I give soft reminder several times but in the end of the day, I have to respect the students’ decision. If they think it is the best for them to skip any ungraded quizzes, it is their right. I have no right to force them in their learning. After all, as adult learners, they should be responsible towards their learning. They are not secondary school students. The major difference between secondary school students and university students is for secondary school students, they need extra guidance when it comes to helping them in decision making. University students? What a heck! They are adults, and they should be responsible and accountable with whatever decision that they make. Welcome to adulthood!
The school conducted a programme (Program Ziarah Cakna) last Thursday (23 May 2019). I went to the school because I paired with Teacher Ita (one of the English teachers) to pay a visit to one of the selected students. I had a quick chat with some of the teachers to ask about what’s new and whatsnot since I left the school last March 2019. I asked specifically about some of the students that I taught before. I asked about their performance in the recent mid term examination. I was worried that I had not covered many of the topics for the first two months but the teachers told me that I covered the topics according to the weekly plan according to scheme of work (SOW) of the respective classes. What a relief!
Teacher Ita told me that Rahim is one of the students who frequently asked about me. It is a classic case of attachment. In this case, I do admit that as an adult, I might be his role model. This is an example of how important an adult can be for an adolescent because he/she is in a phase of role confusion (or laymen commonly use “identity confusion” or in Malay – kecelaruan identiti). Many studies in psychology have shown the importance of adults in helping adolescents in this transitioning phase between childhood and adulthood.
What should I do with Rahim or any other students who are showing this kind of attachment?
I never had any experience of dealing with school kids before because I teach university students since I start my teaching profession in 2005. Well, for obvious reasons they are not adolescents, they are young adults and they have undergone the adolescence phase. They are not in need of adult role models like me. Their needs are different in this case.
I am still racking my brain in this case because I do not want him or any of my students to have “unhealthy attachment” or “transference”. Transference is a term commonly used in counseling or clinical psychology which could happen during therapy sessions in which a person develops “certain feelings/emotions” toward the therapist. But in education setting, transference could also happen in which a student may have certain feelings/emotions towards a teacher. Well, it is not all bleak and gloomy but I don’t wish Rahim or any other male students especially to have “certain” feelings towards me, an old lady. There are cases of relationships between teacher and student who develop into romantic intimate relationships. Perhaps, I am a bit paranoid in this case but I guess there is nothing wrong to have extra precautions. Prevention is better than cure.
It has been a while since the last time I baked something for Eid. I think it was two years ago, when I made chocolate chips and almond london biscuit for Eid. Last year, even though I bought some ingredients to bake chocolate chips, but I didn’t feel like I wanted to celebrate Eid at all. The passing of my mom in September 2017 still has its effect on me. But, I still remember when I lost my dad in 2009, my mom insisted us to keep the tradition alive i.e. the tradition of preparing cookies and whatsnot for Eid. It was some of the things that she normally used to do without fail before Eid. Being me, I would rather buy than bake unless I have to.
I know that I baked a lot when I was doing my PhD as compared to now (post PhD period). I guess at that time, I enjoyed baking and cooking because whatever I baked and cooked would be enjoyed by many people i.e. my housemates and #60 Steavenson Stresst PRs.
But, today I baked brownie cookies (I get the recipe from Youtube). Since I didn’t have the exact ingredients that they use, I improvised. I didn’t know how it will turn out because I am fasting (at the moment of writing this post).
Here are the pictures that I took: Before and after.
P.S: I know that the shapes and sizes are not standardised but I don’t care. I just let it be that way. After all, I am pretty sure that I will be the ONLY one who eat this and there is no way that I serve this to any guest who come to my house during Eid.
The columns have existed more than 15 years. There were many small kids growing up here or came for a visit. But, none of them had ever done this before. All of them would take the normal route, to get into the house. Not in between the columns like this girl. This girl is one year and two months old. She has started to walk less than a month before.
What happened here? She went out for a while and while trying to get back inside, she used this method. Don’t get me wrong. This picture was taken by her dad. So, she was under close supervision by her dad.
Worst case scenario? If she was stuck between the columns, we need to call the firefighter to get help and there goes the newly painted columns that I painstakingly painted during the CNY school break. Alhamdulillah, she could get through the columns in one piece.
I was in the midst of marking the examination scripts and to take a break, I googled some articles, browsed here and there before finding this thing: some non-Muslims guys (and ladies) are vlogging about their experience fasting. At first, I was thinking “Wait a minute?! Are they newly reverts? Or are they just fasting for the sake of experience of not eating for few hours?” But as I watch their videos (more than one apparently), I realise that they are really seriously doing it like a Muslim. They take sahur and do not eat from subuh until maghrib. Some have been doing it for few years. Man, I am really amazed. One of them is even praying tarawikh (I guess he is newly reverted to Islam. Alhamdulillah).
I am not saying it is a bad thing to do but I truly believe that Allah’s hidayah can be in various types and forms. Perhaps, this is one of it.
She took my Research Methodology class. Then she took my personality psychology and human development classes as well. She was a “darling” of any supervisor. She is tenacious, diligent and hardworking. Never give up easily.
A senior already “assigned” her to be her supervisee but she came to meet the programme coordinator to request of changing supervisor. Yup. She wanted me as her supervisor. This was after the semester of “Minah t test tak tahu” incident. Apparently, due to that incident, some students were persistent to have me as their supervisor (a reason only known to them until now and Allah. I don’t ask them “why” they wanted me as their supervisor so, let’s have a good assumption about their intention).
She was well-prepared since the first day we met for supervision. She remembered what I told her in my research methodology class that as a teacher, it is better if they do an action research to improve their teaching practice. By conducting research on their teaching practice, they would improve their teaching practice and know how to improve their students’ learning experience as well.
She was advanced in doing her RS1 and thus, I suggested her to start collecting data for RS2 while completing her RS1. She did that. But, on her final semester (the semester she had to complete her RS2 too), she received news about her mom. Her mom got cancer (I didn’t know the type of cancer) stage 4. She was crying when she called me to break the news. I told her to calm down and meet me to discuss how to finish her RS2. She has to go back to Kuching every weekend to accompany her mom (she is teaching in JB).
We discussed about new deadlines and tasks to be completed. She requested me to monitor her progress. I didn’t want her to push herself too much in this case. She told me that she needed to finish her masters because it was a promise to her mom. It was not an easy task to honour her request. I told her to give our best shots.
She kept me updated with her writing progress and her mom’s condition regularly. Often than not, she could not be as articulated as before because there were so many things on her mind. I told her to keep on writing and don’t worry too much about grammar or sentence structure. I would help her with that.
The period of supervising her was not easy. It was one of the most challenging times because I was badly affected by the previous incident with “Minah t test tak tahu”. I was “healing” and time was not on my side. So, even though it was quite difficult for me to trust my students and to let them to trust me, I just pray that things would turn out well for both of us.
Alhamdulillah, she completed her masters degress with flying colors. There were times when she wanted to give up but she persisted. I told her that I would never let her to give up easily. We were in this together.
Since graduating, we still keep in touch with each other through Whatsapp. But, every time I see this picture and the watch (that I still keep in my office), it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that remind me that whatever things that I do matter as a lecturer, teacher, supervisor or mentor.
P.S: Felicia Sim, thank you for being there for me even though you always think that I help you a lot. Nope. I think it is the other way around.
Note: Felicia’s mom passed away couples of days before Teacher’s Day 2018. When I wished her Happy Teacher’s Day, she broke the news and told me that she was still in Kuching. She is not married yet but I do hope that she will find her life partner ASAP.
