Uncategorized – Page 14 – Hadijah binti Jaffri

The importance of adults for adolescents

The school conducted a programme (Program Ziarah Cakna) last Thursday (23 May 2019). I went to the school because I paired with Teacher Ita (one of the English teachers) to pay a visit to one of the selected students. I had a quick chat with some of the teachers to ask about what’s new and whatsnot since I left the school last March 2019. I asked specifically about some of the students that I taught before. I asked about their performance in the recent mid term examination. I was worried that I had not covered many of the topics for the first two months but the teachers told me that I covered the topics according to the weekly plan according to scheme of work (SOW) of the respective classes. What a relief!

Teacher Ita told me that Rahim is one of the students who frequently asked about me. It is a classic case of attachment. In this case, I do admit that as an adult, I might be his role model. This is an example of how important an adult can be for an adolescent because he/she is in a phase of role confusion (or laymen commonly use “identity confusion” or in Malay – kecelaruan identiti). Many studies in psychology have shown the importance of adults in helping adolescents in this transitioning phase between childhood and adulthood.

What should I do with Rahim or any other students who are showing this kind of attachment?

I never had any experience of dealing with school kids before because I teach university students since I start my teaching profession in 2005. Well, for obvious reasons they are not adolescents, they are young adults and they have undergone the adolescence phase. They are not in need of adult role models like me. Their needs are different in this case.

I am still racking my brain in this case because I do not want him or any of my students to have “unhealthy attachment” or “transference”. Transference is a term commonly used in counseling or clinical psychology which could happen during therapy sessions in which a person develops “certain feelings/emotions” toward the therapist. But in education setting, transference could also happen in which a student may have certain feelings/emotions towards a teacher. Well, it is not all bleak and gloomy but I don’t wish Rahim or any other male students especially to have “certain” feelings towards me, an old lady. There are cases of relationships between teacher and student who develop into romantic intimate relationships. Perhaps, I am a bit paranoid in this case but I guess there is nothing wrong to have extra precautions. Prevention is better than cure.

Me? Baking?

It has been a while since the last time I baked something for Eid. I think it was two years ago, when I made chocolate chips and almond london biscuit for Eid. Last year, even though I bought some ingredients to bake chocolate chips, but I didn’t feel like I wanted to celebrate Eid at all. The passing of my mom in September 2017 still has its effect on me. But, I still remember when I lost my dad in 2009, my mom insisted us to keep the tradition alive i.e. the tradition of preparing cookies and whatsnot for Eid. It was some of the things that she normally used to do without fail before Eid. Being me, I would rather buy than bake unless I have to.

I know that I baked a lot when I was doing my PhD as compared to now (post PhD period). I guess at that time, I enjoyed baking and cooking because whatever I baked and cooked would be enjoyed by many people i.e. my housemates and #60 Steavenson Stresst PRs.

But, today I baked brownie cookies (I get the recipe from Youtube). Since I didn’t have the exact ingredients that they use, I improvised. I didn’t know how it will turn out because I am fasting (at the moment of writing this post).

Here are the pictures that I took: Before and after.

P.S: I know that the shapes and sizes are not standardised but I don’t care. I just let it be that way. After all, I am pretty sure that I will be the ONLY one who eat this and there is no way that I serve this to any guest who come to my house during Eid.

Prison break

The columns have existed more than 15 years. There were many small kids growing up here or came for a visit. But, none of them had ever done this before. All of them would take the normal route, to get into the house. Not in between the columns like this girl. This girl is one year and two months old. She has started to walk less than a month before.

What happened here? She went out for a while and while trying to get back inside, she used this method. Don’t get me wrong. This picture was taken by her dad. So, she was under close supervision by her dad.

Worst case scenario? If she was stuck between the columns, we need to call the firefighter to get help and there goes the newly painted columns that I painstakingly painted during the CNY school break. Alhamdulillah, she could get through the columns in one piece.

What is the trend now? To experience fasting?

I was in the midst of marking the examination scripts and to take a break, I googled some articles, browsed here and there before finding this thing: some non-Muslims guys (and ladies) are vlogging about their experience fasting. At first, I was thinking “Wait a minute?! Are they newly reverts? Or are they just fasting for the sake of experience of not eating for few hours?” But as I watch their videos (more than one apparently), I realise that they are really seriously doing it like a Muslim. They take sahur and do not eat from subuh until maghrib. Some have been doing it for few years. Man, I am really amazed. One of them is even praying tarawikh (I guess he is newly reverted to Islam. Alhamdulillah).

I am not saying it is a bad thing to do but I truly believe that Allah’s hidayah can be in various types and forms. Perhaps, this is one of it.

Thank your for being there for me_Part 2

She took my Research Methodology class. Then she took my personality psychology and human development classes as well. She was a “darling” of any supervisor. She is tenacious, diligent and hardworking. Never give up easily.

A senior already “assigned” her to be her supervisee but she came to meet the programme coordinator to request of changing supervisor. Yup. She wanted me as her supervisor. This was after the semester of “Minah t test tak tahu” incident. Apparently, due to that incident, some students were persistent to have me as their supervisor (a reason only known to them until now and Allah. I don’t ask them “why” they wanted me as their supervisor so, let’s have a good assumption about their intention).

She was well-prepared since the first day we met for supervision. She remembered what I told her in my research methodology class that as a teacher, it is better if they do an action research to improve their teaching practice. By conducting research on their teaching practice, they would improve their teaching practice and know how to improve their students’ learning experience as well.

She was advanced in doing her RS1 and thus, I suggested her to start collecting data for RS2 while completing her RS1. She did that. But, on her final semester (the semester she had to complete her RS2 too), she received news about her mom. Her mom got cancer (I didn’t know the type of cancer) stage 4. She was crying when she called me to break the news. I told her to calm down and meet me to discuss how to finish her RS2. She has to go back to Kuching every weekend to accompany her mom (she is teaching in JB).

We discussed about new deadlines and tasks to be completed. She requested me to monitor her progress. I didn’t want her to push herself too much in this case. She told me that she needed to finish her masters because it was a promise to her mom. It was not an easy task to honour her request. I told her to give our best shots.

She kept me updated with her writing progress and her mom’s condition regularly. Often than not, she could not be as articulated as before because there were so many things on her mind. I told her to keep on writing and don’t worry too much about grammar or sentence structure. I would help her with that.

The period of supervising her was not easy. It was one of the most challenging times because I was badly affected by the previous incident with “Minah t test tak tahu”. I was “healing” and time was not on my side. So, even though it was quite difficult for me to trust my students and to let them to trust me, I just pray that things would turn out well for both of us.

Alhamdulillah, she completed her masters degress with flying colors. There were times when she wanted to give up but she persisted. I told her that I would never let her to give up easily. We were in this together.

Since graduating, we still keep in touch with each other through Whatsapp. But, every time I see this picture and the watch (that I still keep in my office), it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling that remind me that whatever things that I do matter as a lecturer, teacher, supervisor or mentor.

P.S: Felicia Sim, thank you for being there for me even though you always think that I help you a lot. Nope. I think it is the other way around.

Note: Felicia’s mom passed away couples of days before Teacher’s Day 2018. When I wished her Happy Teacher’s Day, she broke the news and told me that she was still in Kuching. She is not married yet but I do hope that she will find her life partner ASAP.

Program Ziarah Cakna [loosely translated as Endowment visit programme]

This is the initiative of the Ministry of Education for schools to conduct Program Ziarah Cakna [school will identify students who belong to B40 family (asnaf) and those who lost their father (yatim). This has been an annual programme for my school which I witnessed it myself last year. It is just that teachers did not go to the student’s house to give the goodie pack (basic essential like cooking oil, flour, sugar, bee hoon, soy sauce etc. and duit raya). This year, it is different. The teachers have to go to the students’ homes to give the goodie pack and some of the teachers sent the students back as well because coincidentally, they have to go back for eid celebration (school holiday)].

All of the teachers are assigned to one student except those with administration post. They are assigned with two students. Unlike any other programme, this programme will include monitoring of the students’ academic performance as well. So, the assigned teacher would be the student’s mentor as well.

I know that it could be perceived as another additional task and responsibility to teachers but I think this would be a good move to create special bond between teacher and student. After all, education is all about human relation and highly depended on human interaction regardless of whatever tools available to enhance students learning experience. Nothing can replace a human being as a teacher no matter what! You cannot learn empathy through AI or a robot. It requires “human touch” to learn about being emphatic and how to be “human”.

(Note: The first picture was taken by me and thus for obvious reason, I wasn’t in the picture. I went to Felda Ulu Tebrau with Teacher Ita. The second picture shows Nadzirun’s house in Yong Peng. Ustaz Hazim (the one wearing batik shirt) was on the way to Malacca (his parents’ home) and he dropped by to send Nadzirun back as well as pay his family a visit. Kudos to all teachers of SABK Madrasah Alattas Johor)

Publish or perish_Part 2

One of my highly esteemed senior colleagues, Prof Hamdan Said shared this newspaper article with us. I admit that what the author wrote is happening in UTM. As an example, I find it time consuming to conduct SOTL research and “produce” papers related to teaching and learning. To see an impact or changes of any learning activity takes time. It is quite difficult to see any “major” change within a period of 14 weeks (for normal semester) unless you have the same batch of students and you use the same learning activity in classes that they have to take in the subsequent semesters.

In my case, if I teach a batch of students who are in their first year second semester i.e. Educational Psychology class, it is quite difficult for me to have the same batch of students in the following semester because I only teach few undergraduate classes (other than Educational Psychology, I also teach Fundamental Pedagogy and Research Methodology class. But since there are enough instructors to teach the other two courses, I only end up to teach only Educational Psychology class on regular basis). Thus, how can I conduct a SOTL research when there would be limited opportunity for me to try out new teaching and learning strategies and do research on that? The point is, it takes me longer to collect data from my own teaching practice. It is not easy but not impossible to do.

When I was at school for my LI, I collected lots of data (from my token economy planner/table, students’ reflective notes and my own daily journal notes). I find it challenging to have solid quiet time to analyse the data. I admit that I should prioritise some of my works according to its importance. As a lecturer, teaching at a university, it is important for me to publish, but at the same time I know that I need to improve my teaching.

Now, it is exam period and I am being bogged down with tonnes of marking assignments, exam scripts and whatsnot. When will this end? It will never end. This is one of the common cycles that I have to face as a lecturer at university.

So, it is a little wonder if some might resort to “short-cuts” of publishing even though they might compromise the quality of the paper. It is a challenge to be “the slow professor” who professes, rather than “an empty shell”. It is a paradoxical phenomenon indeed.

How to make an impact in your students life?

I have had this conversation numerous times with my colleagues (different people) over the years about making difference in other people life especially the students that we taught and teach. The recent one was last week on Thursday (16 May 2019)

When I was at school while undergoing my LI, I could see that many former students came to visit their old teachers. This gives me a warm fuzzy feeling and even though there are some students who came visiting me before after they finished their study but they are few. At school, I even saw some of the students who came to visit their former teachers brought the latest new addition in their family i.e. children. I never had that experience before.

I racked my brain to think about what else could I do other than interacting with the students in class. I started to google few quotes for the posters that I have promised to give to my English panel colleagues (at school). While I was browsing Canva, I had this idea to give a best wishes card to my students. But what should I do with the rest of the cards if I only use half of it (because I was thinking to give it to the school kids that I have taught before)?

This gives me an idea to give the card to all my students at university that I teach as well. I know it is kind of unusual to do this and I had never have any lecturer or had seen any senior who has done that before, but what a heck, there is nothing wrong to give the students a best wishes card. Let’s start this tradition!

Am I making any impact in my student’s life by giving this card? Only Allah Knows best.

My motto: Do the best, pray for the best, leave the rest to Allah and always be thankful with the best things that happen in life even though we might perceive it negatively.

P.S: I can’t wait to see their reaction seeing this card on top of the table before their exam.

Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful

Waiting. I am waiting for my students to submit their assignments, take their second test etc. I know. It is my fault for giving them so many chances to improve in a way that I could not give them the finalised marks yet. I only gave them probational marks. I don’t make it as carry marks though because they can count for themselves the marks that they get on probational basis.

Some of the students take this opportunity to improve but some others, they just wait for their final exam to give their very best shots.

Argh, I hate waiting. Indeed it resonates with this saying “Waiting hurts. Forgetting hurts. But not knowing which decision to take can sometimes be the most painful” – Jose N Harris from his book MI VIDA: A story of faith, hope and love.

I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny – Dr Seuss

We have known each other more than 20 years. As our life start to unfold into different spectrum and colors, we keep in touch once in a blue moon while respecting each other space. Little that I know our meeting would be a little bit different this time around. She called to say that she was in JB. To be specific, she was staying at Pulai Spring. I was in a middle of a meeting. I told her to give me another half an hour. She called me again as I was about to leave the meeting. I rushed to my room to pick up my purse and as it was inside my Ikea red foldable shopping bag, I just grabbed it. I met her who was waiting in front of Canseleri Building. Above all places that she can park her black Mercedes, she chose that special place!

She sounded chirpy than usual. Or is it my imagination that when we met few years ago she sounded more serious? I greet her with a hug. Did we hug last time when we met? I just could not help from thinking that she was a bit different this time around.

It was lunch time and I asked if she had her lunch. She told me that she had her lunch at the hotel where she was staying. She told me that she just want to have a chat with me. To catch up with an old friend. Yup. We met at IIUM Matriculation centre in 1996. We had many classes together since we both majored in psychology.

We decided to have light munchies and hot drinks at McD. After we took our seat while waiting for our order, she had a quick look at me. I was wearing a black jubah and shawl with flowery design. Of course, she noticed my Ikea red plastic bag. “Dij, you are still you. You can afford to buy more expensive bag than that! But, hey we are the same! We don’t care about the brand as long as it is practical“. She laughed after saying this. Looking at myself, I laughed at own self too. “I don’t have that typical image of a lecturer, huh?” I asked her. She said “No. Don’t get me wrong. I am glad that you are still like this. You don’t change much, don’t you?” I just laughed. I have changed a lot, but there are some parts of me that still the same. I told her that at this age, there are so many things have changed. I told her that I start to have grey hair and I also have nearsightedness. I am old. Age is catching up. Both of us laughed again. We have a good time to tease each other this time around. I feel somehow our friendship has matured to different level.

We asked each other about the latest development in our life and suddenly she told me this “Dij, I am on medical leave because I have depression.” I was shocked. I was in the similar situation and I know it is not easy without intervention and professional help. I asked her “Do you have to take any medication?” She told me that a psychiatrist gives her some medication to take. I didn’t know how to react. She is a dear friend. I know her family and siblings. I have met her mom and dad. Her mom still remembers me. Gosh, it is not easy to share this news. Looking at how quiet I was, she assured me that she is ok. She is in a better situation than before. Then, she laughed. “Dij, I am really ok. I am glad that you still want to meet me even though I know that you are busy. You know, there are some of our friends who don’t want to meet me when I ask them out to hang out”. She updated me about her family and both of her parents are retired. Alhamdulillah, both of them are well.

Then she suggested that we should take a picture. “I want to meet Dee on my way back to KL tonight and I want to show her our picture“, she told me. “Tonight? When are you planning to meet her?” I asked her. “Around 7 or 8pm?” she replied. Dee is our friend. A Mary Kay advocate. She converts most of our friends to become MK users. She is a business-minded type.

“Did Dee approach you to use MK product?” I asked. “You?” she asked me back. We looked at each other and laughed. That’s the answer! We don’t have to say anything to know the answer. Old friends can read each other’s mind quite well. Indeed.

The lunch time was almost finished and she wanted to meet another friend before she went back to KL. We had to say Goodbye now. She sent me back to UTM at 2pm just in time for me to go for another meeting. I told her that I didn’t have the opportunity yet to show her my office and faculty. She told me “I guess we have to think about another meeting. Perhaps you will show me around more“. In sha Allah.

DD, thanks for your time! I never thought that McD hot choc is quite delicious.