Part 4 – MyDigital EDUCATOR@MOHE program: First internal evaluation

Having a passionate mentor is like having a gyutou knife. It is a dream to have one but it can cause serious injury too with its sharpness. A learner who is like me who needs extra time and lots of efforts to master learning new things can be a nightmare for any passionate mentor. My mentor had decided to have a quick evaluation before we submitted our materials (deadline is on 30th July 2022). Even though he is not feeling well yesterday, but he made a point to have one-to-one session with us. I was the third person to be evaluated. So after seeing the first two people getting their feedback, I know how serious my mentor is.

When it was my turn, I showed him the downloadable checklist first before I showed him my lesson plan and materials in MOHE moodle. He gave constructive feedbacks which I would use to implement. One of the feedbacks is I should omit the links to the materials in the checklist. His justification is students will use the links in the checklist without accessing moodle. My thought is still in the MCO mode in which I used to give such checklist to students who had difficulty to access elearning. This module is not for such students. I overlook this aspect.

The second feedback that he gave is I should use embed display setting for the materials. I tried it several times to no avail. This is one good example of a struggle that I have to overcome. I will try to watch again the related videos to learn about this. A quick solution would be to bug one of my friends to teach me (she gave a talk before about elearning stuff and she knows elearning better than me).

Another thing that he suggested is to have an opening or welcoming video with a short instruction. I am thinking to use Genially with the voice recorded mode. I need to learn to do that. I have tried once but I am not satisfied with the recorded video. My laptop is a bit slow when converting video to MP4 so using an online video recorded video is an option that I have to consider as the only option now.

I lamented to one of the seniors. He advised me “Just do the things within your ability. If you have to learn something new, learn at your own pace. If somebody pressure you to do something that beyond your ability, just ignore it. Just ignore it until it is no longer relevant. But if you must do it and do not have any other choice, just deal with it“. With a chuckle he said “Masa tu la nak pening kepala“.

I try to convince myself that this is just a phase. Indeed. But I am starting to feel helpless. This is not good. Knowing the severity of learned helplessness, I need to do something to avoid myself falling into that situation.

Note: What is learned helplessness? It is a term coined by Martin Seligman and Steven Maier to describe a condition that occurs when we face uncontrollable situation continuously (repeatedly) and despite our best efforts to find solution, we face failures or negative outcomes. This will lead us to stop trying to change the circumstances or the situations even when we have the ability to do so. In this case, our judgment about our ability is being clouded by the negative assessment of our efforts based on the negative outcomes of the uncontrollable situations.

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I am who I am and what I am cannot be defined by what I have/posses or have done. Therefore, I am me.