Tuition fever is back again….

While undergoing Latihan Ikhtisas, even though I didn’t teach SPM and PT3 students, I did tuition classes with them paired with another teacher.   For MUET, there was no tuition class though because I gave them essay writing homework almost every week.  So, I covered quite a lot with them during class and thus, I didn’t feel that there is a need for me to conduct extra or tuition class for them.  What a heck!  They are 18 years old and I consider them as pre-matriculation students.  They should be independent in their learning.  Stop spoon-feeding them.  That’s my motto.

This year, I did one tuition class early this year.  But since then, other than the yearly academic camp, I don’t have other opportunity to conduct tuition class for the students i.e. my former form 4 students.  After teaching them almost a year, I admit that I am a bit attached with them.  Some of the teacher said that I only have special preference towards certain students.  This is not true.  I am fair to all of them but it seems that some of the have certain attachment towards me and thus, it appears as if I am overly concerned towards certain students as compared to the rest of them.  Well, it depends on how others want to perceive it but my conscience is clear.  As their super-duper senior, I act like their big sister, rather than a teacher sometimes.  They could notice this when I changed my voice intonation.  So, some of them treat me differently as compared to the way they treat their other teachers.  

I do keep myself updated with their learning progress and life.  So, I know their well-being and family states as well.  When I heard the news about Rahim’s dad involved in an accident after Friday prayer last week (14 June 2019), I could not help from thinking about Rahim since then.  Later on, knowing his English performance during the recent mid term, I could not help from thinking “What should I do with him?”.  Ita (one of the English teachers) teased me saying “Well, look at who taught him last time?  Since you left, he is different.  A rebellious.  Aalia told me that she has difficult time to deal with him and some of his friends.  Perhaps he needs you to teach him again“.  I rolled my eyes as I read her Whatsapp message.  Not only Rahim, Ita also told me that Raiz is not making any progress.  I know Raiz on different level.  His dad is the one who collects the palm oil from my place.   My sister buys chicken from his dad too.  In short, he is someone that I know cum my neighbour.  I am in dilemma.  

When I looked at the list of students who got D and E for English, I notice some of familiar names from my previous class.  I vividly remember the time when I had my Zuhr prayer at the musolla and Ainsyah sat beside me.  After Zuhr prayer, with tears in her eyes, she told me how she wishes that she could perform better in English.  She seems hopeless with her proficiency.  As I held her in my arms (by this time, she was crying), I told her that as long as she is willing to learn, I would help her the best I could.  Now, it is times for me to uphold that promise.  How can I help these students?

Can I do it?   In sha Allah I will try my best to coach them.  So, there will be 6 of them under my tutelage this year (I had 8 students last year).  Ita told me “Don’t put too much hope on these kids.  They know they couldn’t get A for their English.  So, don’t put any unrealistic expectation on them“. 

I learn and teach psychology.  I don’t want to practice something that would lead to self-fulfilling prophecy in specific the Pygmalion effect and Golum effect (I know the detrimental effects of self-fulfilling prophecy and there are many research have shown it).   So, I will discuss with them their realistic target and how they can achieve their target within these few months.   That’s what I am going to do as a start.  

So, my first tuition class after Latihan Ikhtisas would be on Friday 21 June 2019.  

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I am who I am and what I am cannot be defined by what I have/posses or have done. Therefore, I am me.