How we react depends on our emotions not intelligence.

In a meeting, my colleague was complaining about the amount of work that her department had to deal. Nevertheless, she did not make it crystal clear the source of the over work. Since we are from the same academy, I jumped to conclusions, thinking that she was complaining about my department. Based on the previous experience with her, I was a bit emotional and defended my department. I gave her a call after the meeting with the intention to confront her. And guess what I got. She was not pointing to my department but other department and I spoiled her plan. The past experience and emotions do influence our decisions and reactions. Luckily, there was no hard feeling. This is what I have to practise

Open my mind before I open my mouth

Each emotion offers a distinctive readiness to act; each points us in a direction that has worked well to handle the recurring challenges of human life. as these eternal situations were repeated and repeated over our revolutionary history, the survival value of our emotional repertoire was attested to by its becoming imprinted in our nerves as innate, automatic tendencies of the human heart.

intelligence can come to nothing when the emotions hold sway

(Daniel Goleman, 1995: 4)

Signs of hypocrisy

Since hypocrisy is all about pretense, it is very difficult to define who is a hypocrite. However, the Prophet, peace be upon him, has outlined for us some characteristics which are common in all hypocrites. He says: “Three qualities are the mark of hypocrite: he lies when he speaks, he breaks his promises when he has given them and he is unfaithful to his trust.” [Related by Muslim]. Another version of this Hadith, also related by Muslim, quotes the Prophet, peace be upon him, as saying: “If the following four characteristics are part of a person’s character, he is a pure hypocrite. If one of them applies to him, he has a characteristic of hypocrisy until he abandons it: he lies when he speaks, he violates his pledges, breaks his promises and when he quarrels with someone he is shameless.

https://www.dar-alifta.org/foreign/ViewFatwa.aspx?ID=8008

Hypocrisy

I watched a Chinese drama called Princess Weiyoung and there is something that I learnt from the drama. There are different types of people; genuinely kind and honest, crystal clear evil or dare devil and the third group is the cunning ones. Combating the crystal clear evil is way much better than the cunning ones. A cunning and sly person can appear as your friend, who is doing something for your own good but actually the evil intention is laid underneath which you won’t be able to see, just like the iceberg theory. Beware, guard yourself from falling into the hypocrite’s trap.

The Iceberg Theory for Presentation Content | Ethos3

when things get out of your hands

Sometimes, trivial things, which are not worth your attention, can go out of your hands. People are just waiting to do things out of their selfishness. When this happens, how will you manage the situation?

If it’s out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.

-Ivan Nuru-

I believe this is the best thing for me to do at this point of time. Get them out of my mind.

To please Allah or to please …

The answer is very obvious

Rasulullah P.B.U.H said, “He who displeased Allah for seeking the pleasure of people, Allah is displeased with him and those people are also displeased, for pleasing whom he had earned Allah’s displeasure. And he who pleases Allah, although by it he displeased people, Allah is pleased with him, and also those people whom he had displeased for pleasing Allah become pleased with him. Allah makes him splendid and his speech and acts in the eyes of others beautiful.” [Tabarani]

To please those who are not pleased

My goodness. This task is not easy for leaders. The saying ‘you cannot please everyone’ is true. You might be able to please one person, but others might not be happy with you. Nonetheless, as leaders you cannot ignore them. More importantly, leaders must possess effective communication skills to comfort the unhappy ones. All the best.

Paul J. Meyer

Communication – the human connection – is the key to personal and career success – Paul J. Meyer

The greater the storm. The brighter you rainbow

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