Communicating with narcissists…

It is not easy to communicate with narcissists or people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). They always want to win, will never listen to others and one thing I learnt recently about narcissistic people is that they are good at lying 🤥.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

From the healthline website, there are 9 official criteria for NPD.

  • grandiose sense of self-importance
  • preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • belief they’re special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
  • need for excessive admiration
  • sense of entitlement
  • interpersonally exploitative behavior
  • lack of empathy
  • envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
  • demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
The advise given by experts when dealing with NPD people is to ignore or to get rid of them. Simply because they won’t listen and always want to win. No point of talking to them unless you want to get yourself hurt.

Hearing, Sight and Heart

On 17 July 2020, I wrote ‘we see with eyes, listen with our ears and sense with our heart for efficacious communication’, which I got from the Chinese drama entitled Qin Empire: Alliance.

On 14 August 2020,  I came across the verse 2:7 in the Quran which means the same thing.  For people who don’t want to believe in the Quran, Allah has sealed their heart, ears and eyes so that they will never be able to understand. This thus proves that these three sensory abilities are extremely important for us to completely understand what is going on around us.

Al-Baqarah 2:7
خَتَمَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبِهِمْ وَعَلَىٰ سَمْعِهِمْۖ وَعَلَىٰٓ أَبْصَٰرِهِمْ غِشَٰوَةٌۖ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ

Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. And for them is a great punishment.

And today I got another surah that has the similar message

Al-Isra’ 17:36
وَلَا تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۚ إِنَّ ٱلسَّمْعَ وَٱلْبَصَرَ وَٱلْفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ كَانَ عَنْهُ مَسْـُٔولًا

A related quote regarding eye, ear and heart by Robert Frost.

There are three things, after all, that a poem must reach: the eye, the ear, and what we may call the heart or the mind. It is the most important of all to reach the heart of the reader.

— Robert Frost

“If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.”― Sun Tzu

Win the War

H. Jackson Brown Jr. Quote: “Be willing to lose a battle in order to win the war.” (12 wallpapers) - Quotefancy

Our greatest enemy is not another but ourselves

The strong one lost and the weak one won, in the end, the humble man won the world

We can lose a hundred times, but we must gain the ultimate victory

A good emperor wins with morality and a cruel one with force

But both morality and force are needed for governance

We should use both force and morality to rule

– King’s War: Legend of Chu and Han (Chinese Drama) –