https://people.utm.my/hanita/2020/11/26/4580/

A lesson to learn

وَالَّذِيۡنَ يُؤۡذُوۡنَ الۡمُؤۡمِنِيۡنَ وَالۡمُؤۡمِنٰتِ بِغَيۡرِ مَا اكۡتَسَبُوۡا فَقَدِ احۡتَمَلُوۡا بُهۡتَانًا وَّاِثۡمًا مُّبِيۡنًا

Al-Ahzab (33:58)

Those who cause hurt to believing men and to believing women have invited upon themselves a calumny and a manifest sin.

This verse determines the definition of slander. It is to ascribe a fault to a person which he does not have, or an error which he has not committed. The Prophet (peace be upon him) also has explained it. According to Abu Daud and Tirmidhi, when he was asked as to what is ghibat (backbiting), he replied: “It is to make mention of your brother in a manner derogatory to him.” The questioner said, “And if the fault is there in my brother?” The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: “If the fault that you mentioned is there in him, you backbite him; if it is not there, you slandered him.” Such an act is not only a moral sin, which will entail punishment in the Hereafter, but this verse also requires that also in the law of an Islamic State false allegation should be held as a culpable offense. 

http://islamicstudies.info/tafheem.php?sura=33&verse=53&to=58

https://www.islamicstudies.info/tafheem.php?sura=33&verse=53&to=58

Be Grateful

When you get something good, enjoy it.

And never forget to be thankful to Allah the Almighty

Indeed, We blessed Luqmân with wisdom, ˹saying˺, “Be grateful to Allah, for whoever is grateful, it is only for their own good. And whoever is ungrateful, then surely Allah is Self-Sufficient, Praiseworthy.”

Surah Luqman – 31:12

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.

The Nile River – 2016

https://people.utm.my/hanita/2020/11/23/4556/

Despite being a good reminder, I found this quote has a very good sense of humour.

https://people.utm.my/hanita/2020/11/20/4553/

Patience as mentioned in the Quran

و اصبروا إن الله مع الصابرين

“…and be patient. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” [al-Anfal 8:46].

واستعينوا بالصبر والصلاة

“And seek assistance through patience and prayer…” [al-Baqarah 2:45].

وإن تصبروا وتتقوا لا يضركم كيدهم شيئا إن الله بما يعملون محيط

“…And if you are patient and fear Allah , their plot will not harm you at all. Indeed, Allah is encompassing of what they do.…” [Al ‘Imran 3:120].

وإن عاقبتم فعاقبوا بمثل ما عوقبتم به ولئن صبرتم لهو خير للصابرين

“And if you punish [an enemy, O believers], punish with an equivalent of that with which you were harmed. But if you are patient – it is better for those who are patient.” [an-Nahl 16:126].

واستعينوا بالصبر والصلاة وإنها لكبيرة إلا على الخاشعين

And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah ]…” [al-Baqarah 2:45];

وجعلنا منهم أئمة يهدون بأمرنا لما صبروا وكانوا بآياتنا يوقنون

“…And We made from among them leaders guiding by Our command when they were patient and [when] they were certain of Our signs” [as-Sajdah 32:24];

إن في ذلك لآيات لكل صبار شكور

“…Verily in this are Signs for everyone who patiently perseveres and is grateful” [ash-Shura 42:33];

https://people.utm.my/hanita/2020/11/19/4546/

Communicating with narcissists…

It is not easy to communicate with narcissists or people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). They always want to win, will never listen to others and one thing I learnt recently about narcissistic people is that they are good at lying 🤥.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

From the healthline website, there are 9 official criteria for NPD.

  • grandiose sense of self-importance
  • preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • belief they’re special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
  • need for excessive admiration
  • sense of entitlement
  • interpersonally exploitative behavior
  • lack of empathy
  • envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
  • demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/am-i-dating-a-narcissist
The advise given by experts when dealing with NPD people is to ignore or to get rid of them. Simply because they won’t listen and always want to win. No point of talking to them unless you want to get yourself hurt.

Hearing, Sight and Heart

On 17 July 2020, I wrote ‘we see with eyes, listen with our ears and sense with our heart for efficacious communication’, which I got from the Chinese drama entitled Qin Empire: Alliance.

On 14 August 2020,  I came across the verse 2:7 in the Quran which means the same thing.  For people who don’t want to believe in the Quran, Allah has sealed their heart, ears and eyes so that they will never be able to understand. This thus proves that these three sensory abilities are extremely important for us to completely understand what is going on around us.

Al-Baqarah 2:7
خَتَمَ ٱللَّهُ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبِهِمْ وَعَلَىٰ سَمْعِهِمْۖ وَعَلَىٰٓ أَبْصَٰرِهِمْ غِشَٰوَةٌۖ وَلَهُمْ عَذَابٌ عَظِيمٌ

Allah has set a seal upon their hearts and upon their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. And for them is a great punishment.

And today I got another surah that has the similar message

Al-Isra’ 17:36
وَلَا تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۚ إِنَّ ٱلسَّمْعَ وَٱلْبَصَرَ وَٱلْفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُو۟لَٰٓئِكَ كَانَ عَنْهُ مَسْـُٔولًا

A related quote regarding eye, ear and heart by Robert Frost.

There are three things, after all, that a poem must reach: the eye, the ear, and what we may call the heart or the mind. It is the most important of all to reach the heart of the reader.

— Robert Frost

“If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.”― Sun Tzu

https://people.utm.my/hanita/2020/10/09/4478/