How to Read People Like a Book

Murray Oxman listed 50 uncommon tips on how to read people


and here are a few tips I would like to share.

  1. Trading – people can very manipulative, and trading is a big part of it,…- they expect something in return for their support. Never trade with people. Stand on your own feet. Once people catch on you can’t be bought they’ll shot their true colors.
  2. Approval – There are people who beg for approval. … Why do they seek your approval? They dont want to be self-responsible or self-reliant.
  3. Flattery – When someone starts feeding your ego, ask yourself, “just what is he after – do I want to go along with this?”
  4. People want you to go as fast as they are. Maybe they want you to make a snap decision on an important matter  – right now. Don’t get caught up in their momentum. Deliberately slow down! You dictate the tempo that things will move. Always and in everything, be your own person.
  5. Please yourself – trying to please others will get you nothing but anxiety, nervousness and scorn. Please your True Self and you receive the inner-riches of a nice, relaxed, confident life.
  6. Feeling sad – cheerfulness is a healthy alternative
  7. Friends – A real friend will always tell you what you need to hear – the truth – not what you prefer to hear….Truth is really the only friend a person can have and needs.  Friends in Truth are real friends.
  8. Comfort – Don’t push people psychologically. They’ll resist and push back. Use tact, slow down, take your time and introduce new ideas to them gradually, so they’ll feel at ease with you.
  9. Priorities – You can tell a lot about people by observing what their priorities are. Not what theybsay they are, but what you observe them actually be.
  10. Answers – when you ask some people questions, you rarely get a straight answer. … when you get vague, rambling answers ask, “Exactly, what does that mean?”
  11. Accountability – People who hold themselves accountable are to be admired.  They make for good company…
  12. Pain – “What a day, the stress was terrible, now I can relax a little.” Don’t buy it! It’s all a self-centred act to feel important and get a false sense of accomplishment.
  13. Self-centred people love to get attention any way they can. One trick they use is to mentally make themselves physically ill – psychosomatic sickness. Be strong. Don’t buy into the act. It hurts all concerned.
  14. Attachments – “Love the Creator not the creations”. That’s sage advice.
  15. Excuses – Never buy into people’s excuses for their actions. There’s only one reason people do what they do – they want to!

Murray Oxman. 2006. How to Read People Like a Book. Petaling Jaya: Advantage Quest.