‪A gentle reminder to myself.

There’s no room for arrogance in your heart. Don’t ever feel the need to look down on someone, not for anything that the Almighty has bestowed on you; wealth, status, power, children, good looks etc. Remember the Lord of the World can change your fortune in the blink of an eye!

– Mufti Ismail Menk

The 8 telltale signs that people are not talking straight:

  1. dancing around the issue
  2. dumping a laundry list of concerns
  3. dramatising and exaggerating
  4. minimising and reducing
  5. withholding information, thoughts or feelings
  6. expecting others to read your mind
  7. dropping a bomb
  8. deflecting and avoiding

Read Say It Right The First Time by Loretta Malandro (2003) if you want to know how to deal with  people with those characters.

7 prevention tactics to save you from unnecessary heat up arguments

  1. listen with positive expectations, not judgment
  2. ask for information in a nonthreatening manner
  3. when in doubt, leave it out
  4. cool off before you open your mouth
  5. talk ‘now’ not ‘always’
  6. treat the undesired behaviour as an exception, not the rule
  7. take emotions out of technology

(Loretta Malandro. (2003).  Say it right the first time.  NY: Mc Graw Hill.  166).

Before you react, stop and think:

Underneath poor behaviour is a frustrated commitment trying to get out

– (Loretta Malandro, 2003, Say it Right the First Time, US: Mc Graw Hill, Pg 147)

How to make people listen to you? Make sure your talk is

  • succinct
  • punchy
  • affecting
  • clear

(Sonya Hamlin. 2006. How to talk so people listen.USA: Harper; 64)

7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Covey:

  1. be proactive
  2. begin with the End in Mind
  3. put first things first
  4. think win/win
  5. seek first to understand, then to be understood
  6. synergize
  7. sharpen the saw

Each habit will be dealt with in the coming postings. So stay tuned.

Nelson Mandela’s 10 rules for success

https://youtu.be/lh7yZZN2oz0

  1. demand respect
  2. prove them wrong
  3. use your time wisely
  4. don’t worry about labels
  5. be humble
  6. have heroes
  7. take a stand
  8. manage your emotions
  9. be willing to die for your case
  10. speak with conviction