Communication is Built on Trusting Relationships – Dale Carnegie


Dale Carnegie. 1993. The Leader in You.  New York: Pocket Books

  1. For years loudness was equated with toughness. Stubbornness was equated with superior knowledge. Argumentativeness was equated with honesty. We should all – supervisor and employee, parent and child, teacher and student – be grateful those days are finally coming to an end. (P26)
  2. The ability to communicate well is what lights the fire in people.  It’s what turns great ideas into action. It’s what makes all achievement possible. (P27)
  3. “I’ve known a lot of engineers with terrific ideas who had trouble explaining them to other people. It’s always a shame when a guy with great talent can’t tell the board or a committee what’s in his head.” Lee Iacocca. (P31)
  4. If you can show your colleagues you are receptive to their ideas, they’re more likely to be receptive to yours – and to keep you honestly informed about the things you need to know.  Show that you care about the future of the organisation and that you care as much about them.  And don’t limit those displays of concern to your co-workers. Communicate the same genuine caring to your customers and your clients too. (P32)
  5. Follow Retton’s advice: “Being down-to-earth and humble is extremely important.  I just try to put people at ease.  Everybody’s the same.  I think everybody is on a certain level, whether you are the CEO of a company or a salesperson.  It’s just a different job.”  That’s what creating a receptive environment is all about: putting people at ease. (P35).
  6. Once people do take the risk telling you what they think, don’t punish them for their openness. Do nothing – absolutely noting – to discourage them from taking the risk to communicating again.  (P37)
  7. “If an employee makes a suggestion that  I don’t agree with, then I have to be very delicate about the way in which I tell them I don’t agree,” … “I want to encourage them to come back to me the next time and make another suggestion.  Now, I told some of the people on my staff that I may disagree with them ninety-nine times out of a hundred, but I want them to keep coming to me with their views. That’s what they get paid for.  The one time out of a hundred is going to be of value, and I’m not going to view them as any weaker because I disagree with them the other times” Fred J. Sievert, chief financial officer of the New York Life Insurance Company. (P37)

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